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Scared of in laws

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Zeekayk

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I finally admitted it to my husband and after doing so that I'd realized its a big issue. So i grew up with a mom that continuously chose an abusive husband (dad) over me/us (my sisters) ... i kept begging her for her love and attention, but she would even tell me she doesn't love me and she only loves our father. I guess she blamed us (her children) for the relationship she had with our father and therefore shes hated us. I keep feeling i cant be loved and im unworthy and even whoever loves me will eventually replace me. These thoughts stopped. But not with in laws. By in laws i mean (my husbands sisters and brother) because both of his parents had passed away..... when I decided to keep my distance from their narcissist stepmother. They blamed me and questioned me and pushed me to change my mind and my decision (i just started knowing boundaries and setting them) I went on his phone after rejecting their request to go meet their stepmom (ps: their stepmom never speaks to me.) she sends my SIL. Which triggers me back to what my mother used to do as well. Anyways, I definitely changed after that. I stopped sending any pictures of my son to them. I would be distant when we meet but thats because i saw after telling them no. That they spoke about me to my husband.
(Whats she doing, is she serious, our step mom will talk to our family, and everyone will see us bad...) and my husband told her im damaged. It hurt me badly but i was never able to tell him because i had no right to go through his phone and since then i never went again. But that made me change more on them because i saw them as "threat" people who are going to destroy the house i built. It is my childhood dream to have a safe and loving home. I'd want my child the same. But i felt that they are danger and i must keep them away. So EVERYTHING about my life and my son's i dont want to share. I dont want to tell them where i work, if my son at daycare, how he is doing. I just really feel unsafe towards them. Today i finally spoke up to my husband and told him im scared from them and even said from where its coming (childhood wound) but honestly the MAIN reason is them pushing me to do what they want and speaking behind my back to him when i dont and him not standing up for me. --- i have told him they are pushing me. One question after the other. He said thats how people have conversations. What advice do you have for me? Thanks
 
It is hard when people dont respect boundaries an then on top of that your spouse sees that as "how people have conversation." It is ok to say no and leave it at that. Respect your boundaries for your own health.
 
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