Hi Piglet,
Welcome aboard. Yes, you will get the support you need here, that is for sure. We all understand what your going through, as we have all done it ourselves, and others here are doing it now... being diagnosed.
Yep... denial is a wonderful thing, your right. Unfortunately, we can only live in denial for so long until it jumps up and bites us on the backside... which it sounds like your turn is now due. I suppose it is a bit different for you, as you know that you could have PTSD, where mine was like, "you have PTSD", and my response was, "what the hell is that?"... I guess mine was just not knowing, where your diagnosis is from avoidance. I bet thats been playing on your brain some what ha? I also bet it probably isn't helping the situation either?
Your right, it is scary, and especially when you know what PTSD is, it must obviously be worst. I used to love denial, that anything was wrong with me... I could just drown my sorrows in alcohol and be none the wiser. Now, I have to fight this head on... which I avoided for years.
I always wonder what it is about friends, but from my own experience, I know what it is like sitting on the other side of it also. When I was in the military, soldiers who had done very little in the scheme of things to what I had done, where being diagnosed with this thing called PTSD. Arrogant, selfish... yes... but that is the military surroundings.
It wasn't until I started helping some of them, because others would not extend themselves past their rank to do so... and just thought they were nuts. I started listening to things they were saying, and worked out that their own traumas had been the cause. Now at this point, I still didn't pay any attention to what exactly was wrong, ie. PTSD, just that they were mentally unstable and needed help, quickly.
I had pretty much well forgotten about everything, until such time as my wife sent me to counselling cause I was pretty much out of control. When the counsellor looked at me, asked me two or three questions, and said we need to talk lots more, I think you have PTSD... and I asked what the hell that thing was again... I figured out that this is what some other soldiers where experiencing when I was helping to keep the heat of them through a bad time in their life.
Now, some of these people who where diagnosed before myself, where good friends, but I ignored what was happening to them, and failed to support them outside of the military life. I am not necessarily proud of that, as I should have known better as a friend, but for some reason didn't. Now that could have been because of my own PTSD that was oblivious to me, or not... not sure.
What I do know, is that by educating those around us with the problem we face, they tend to turn around and remembering what being a friend is about... support and being there. Maybe try helping them learn, whilst you learn also. I know that ditching too much on your friends or family, is a little overwhelming for them, as they just tend to think your nuts... when in fact there are underlying problems.
Give it a go, and see what happens.
Don't be too afraid to turn up for your appointments though... even though they will make you anxious, turn up anyway, and get the help you need, then learn, learn, learn... as the only real way to fight PTSD is to know your own strengths and weaknesses, and work within the bounds you have. Push yourself a little at a time, work through it, then step back and redevelop yourself, then go at it again.
My doctors where brutally honest with me, as they where specialists in PTSD, and basically, they said go lock myself up for a year, two or more, until I find a calm within myself to deal with the world. I am still in that phase of my life, though I am dealing with things the best I can. You have to take things one step at a time, and you made the right step by finally seeking the correct medical help.
I say, congratulations for taking the giant leap. It is a giant leap too... for someone without PTSD, it is probably nothing, but when PTSD symptoms are at work... it is huge to make it to get help. You should pat yourself on the back just for these next steps your proactively taking.
Your family need educating about the illness... and once educated, then they may just be a bit more supportive.
Again though, you will always get the support and honest truth here... so I'm glad you made that step also...