I'm in a bad place today and part of me knows that I should be in the hospital for my own safety. I've never done that before. I'm terrified it will open up the final door that makes me officially "crazy". The idea of being away from my place, my safe spot, my things, makes me want to puke. I feel as if today something new in my snapped. No clue what it even is. I only feel it. My despair, my sense that no one is listening or is not understanding what I'm trying to communicate, this f*cking inability to even want to move or breathe. It's crushing me. I keep hitting myself.
I'm so f*cking scared to go to the hospital. To me that changes everything.
I'm so f*cking scared to go to the hospital. To me that changes everything.