Scared

[Casey_03]

I am nearly three months into my pregnancy and starting to panic, realizing just how much stuff i will have to do completely alone. There is no one to help me raise this child. I have been doing extra work to set money aside but have no savings. There are so many things that could go wrong and the idea of facing them alone is overwhelming and terrifying.

 

[Kintsugi]

I wish I had something more comforting to tell you than that you are in my thoughts. I have no idea what sort of social services are available in the Ukraine, accommodations for expecting or new mothers, etc. I just want you to know that we're here for you as you press forward.

(((Casey)))

 

[Friday]

Having done both... Everything on my own & everything with an abusive prick, like your ex?

Alone is soooooooo the way to go!!! :D

Now... I've never had a partner/partner when raising kids. So I have no idea how much easier it might be with shared responsibility. But I can absolutely tell you that being a single parent with kiddo(s) 24/7 is about 10,000x easier / less stress than being with an abusive schmuck. Blissfully easy. OMFG, thank the stars, easy.

As a single parent, you get your shit together. You have childcare & backup childcare put in place 6 ways from Sunday. Work & sleep slots into place. Go bags by the front door (for pedestrian journeys), and in the trunk of the car/front seat of the truck, etc. (for any kind of motorized trip), so you aren't spending an hour getting out of the house (or longer, or not leaving, or buried under useless stuff)... But simply grab the baby & go. They weigh less than a camera. No worries. Need a long shower in the morning before work? Pfft. High chair in the bathroom with their breakfast while you sluice off in hot water. Bliss. It simply becomes a very natural extension of your life.

Is parenting hard? Yep. So is anything you want to do well.

Half the parenting hype out there? Are guilt/shame psyOps to convince parents to buy shit. 1/3 of 1 developmental psych class (you're a journalist, you could easy study on your own. Skip all the pop-psych nonsense & go straight to a textbook) & you'll realize 99% of it is bullshit. There is no "best" way to raise a child. <grin> Multiplicity of bests! In that "best" is different for each and every single family out there! There are only 3 wrong ways to raise a child (abuse, neglect, absence), and 1,000s of right ones. As to your personal version of Best? You'll figure that out as you go.

Fair warning : Pregnancy Hormones are no joke. "Everyone" goes through periods of stark terror (even on kid #6 when you know there's nothing to be afraid of, and it's ALL hormones!), periods of "nesting" (more more more, need more stuff!, CLEAN! I have to clean! It's not clean enough!!!), rage & crying storms (at things that are neither worth anger, nor tears... Like toilet paper commercials, or a scuffed shoe). Pregnancy is the pits. Even people who loooooove being pregnant / get all the happy-happy-joy-joy-seeeeeeereeeeeene hormones (evil bitches ;)) get some of the freak out hormones, too.

You want this? You got it. Will it be hard? Yes. Will you rise to the challenge? Absolutely. I have never yet met a parent who wanted to rise to the challenge, who didn't. Does it usually feel that way? Hell no. It's an ongoing struggle in

:banghead: :confused::O_o::hilarious::sleep::sleep::sour::meh::nailbiting::eek::bawling::cry::cautious::happy::smug::inlove::banghead::cool:

But if being a good parent is important to you? You will be one.

 

[Ronin]

I have no idea what sort of social services are available in the Ukraine, accommodations for expecting or new mothers, etc

Because I love googling NGOs, would Link Removed John Snow Inc be any use for the time's sake? They're Kiev-based and specializing in maternal & newborn health care & reproductive health.