Addiction secret drinking of alcohol

acoa82

Learning
Hi.
I have cptsd, or developmental trauma, ace score 7. I take medication. I go to the doctor. I never used to drink alcohol. But even now, in the last period, I have been alone and secretly in some pubs, actually twice. I drank some hard liquor (72%). Nothing special is happening in my life.
Does anyone have a similar experience? I don't quite understand why I do that. But my father was an alcoholic.
 

caroline_13

Confident
I think drinking alone *can* be a sign of you are relying on the alcohol to cope.

I guess most of the population relies on alcohol. (I also have alcoholism in my family background.)

For a while I didn't have a problem with it, then I did. I'd stop and start again.

I stopped when I wasn't saying to myself "this is a problem" but "the alcohol blocks my energy and I want my energy"!

Now, I am not saying this is similar to you. It's fairly normal to experiment somewhat with alcohol.

But it can be interesting to pay attention to why you are drinking... which it sounds like you are doing.

Have you tried meditating on it? Do you like drinking with others or is it more of a lonely thing?
 

ApetorsAngel.

Not Active
Hi.
I have cptsd, or developmental trauma, ace score 7. I take medication. I go to the doctor. I never used to drink alcohol. But even now, in the last period, I have been alone and secretly in some pubs, actually twice. I drank some hard liquor (72%). Nothing special is happening in my life.
Does anyone have a similar experience? I don't quite understand why I do that. But my father was an alcoholic.
I to have CPTSD and major depression. My first psychologist, because she was New was taking things way to fast. I liked her a lot but it retraumatized me and I do not blame her, I am thankful for her and I hoped she learned.

But I did begin drinking in private. I also worked as a cashier in a very popular liquor store where testing bourbons with customers on the job was a normal thing.

I began drinking all alone at home. My favorite because of the job was Old Ezra 7 which is a strong, over 100 proof burboun.

We all drink for different reasons. Whether it’s escaping bordem or soothing inescapable untreated anxiety
 
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Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I started drinking vodka when I was 12. Then moved onto recreational drugs when 16.
Stopped drugs aged 25.
And have never been a heavy drinker really, it was all about blocking out emotions or coping with emotions.
Even though I have never focused on it in therapy, as therapy has progressed: I now no longer use alochol to cope. I did I itially with therapy. The session would end and I would open a bottle of wine. Or something would happen and I would drink.
But now,I am better with having emotions and dealing with them and not needing alochol to numb.

Maybe explore how you're feeling when you drink?
Is the drinking causing upset in your life?
What would be your goal with drinking?

It can change.
 
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