I haven’t posted before, but just knowing this group is here is so helpful to me. I’ve felt really alone with my medical trauma my entire life. It started when I was 6 and just got worse with every surgery, procedure, etc. My boyfriend recently turned 50 and retired from the Army, two things that caused him to think he needed to replace the Army structure or parental figure with the medical system to “take care of him,” as he put it. He was blunt about that. He’s done everything imaginable this year and it’s been probably 8 months of doctors appointments, screening procedures, etc. I thought there would be an end to it, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. He says there is nothing wrong with him. Given his physical condition and lifestyle, I’m inclined to believe that, but this is a lifestyle change akin to a religious conversion at this point. Every time he says he has an appointment I lose three days trying to get myself back together after that sick, horrible feeling. I’ve explained my PTSD twice to him and told him that I needed him to keep appointments to himself unless something is really wrong, or unless he’s inordinately worried about something. Then I’ll show up for I’m in every way imaginable. What he heard was to tell me about appointments as before, but try to reassure me that nothing is wrong by giving me greater detail. That’s making it worse instead of better because it’s more information/detail on top of knowing about the appointment. He doesn’t understand PTSD at all and he’s not hurting me deliberately. Once he thought that’s what I was asking, he did his best to comply...just with the wrong thing! I’m seeking any strategies for explaining medical trauma to someone who can’t seem to get enough of the medical system, trusts it almost in a dangerous way, and how to explain PTSD generally so that they can try and accommodate my triggers. I don’t want to leave the relationship at all. I love him. But I can’t live like this indefinitely. He is becoming the trigger himself.