Apologies for the rant...
I am looking for tips to help advocate for myself while having a regression of symptoms.
Every time I open my mouth I feel like I am whining. I have been accused of trying to mooch off of the system, told my "social problems" are not treatable medically etc.
I am employed full time, a single parent of two challenging/struggling teens and have one person I can go to for basic help that I can trust.
I have been dealing with a regression for about 11 months now.
For the first 6 months it wasn't severe yet, so I did all the things you are supposed to do.
1. regulate sleep.
2. eat healthy
3. get exercise
4. mitigate the self-isolation tendencies.
5. take my vitamins
6. meditate, breathing exercises and practice switching focus from the trauma triggers bla bla bla....
7th month the depression, shame, guilt, suicidal thoughts, physical pain, nightmares etc started getting out of control.
So I went to my family physician and requested a psych referral and to start treatment for depression.
I have a very low tolerance to medications, I am the poster child of side effects.
We tried one med that halfway worked until one of my health plans terminated and my cost share became over 200 a month.
Next was the SSRI and I was very open that historically I had very bad reactions to them.
Two months and I am a zombie and my cognition is so impacted I cant even remember the name of my kiddos congenital disease they have had since birth.
Next was Wellbutrin. I took the quit smoking version 20 years ago and it triggered a pretty bad state. This time around It just as bad 3 weeks of reduced sleep,
from 8 hours interrupted to 3 full of nightmares and waking up in panic mode many times a night.
I pushed through cause the first month side effects right. It a massive increase in anxiety so bad I was getting heart palpitation's.
There have been some additional stressors lately.
Sunday I woke up to a simple text that broke me. I cried uncontrollably all day, I went into fight or flight and I freaked when my kiddo touched me.
And I explained very badly why what was being asked of me was expecting too much.
I should have gone to the hospital. I didn't have the presence of mind to get myself there.
We don't have a safety plan for when mommy loses her shit because mommy can usually mitigate her reaction but not this time.
(We have developed a safety plan for if I crack again now)
Now my Doctor is saying he is only a GP and he doesn't want to treat me anymore as he does not want to be liable. he told me I am bi-polar and by this time,
I am stammering saying have you done any research on PTSD? But on the plus side I finally have my psych referral for 18 months from now....
What the Hell do I do now???
I am looking for tips to help advocate for myself while having a regression of symptoms.
Every time I open my mouth I feel like I am whining. I have been accused of trying to mooch off of the system, told my "social problems" are not treatable medically etc.
I am employed full time, a single parent of two challenging/struggling teens and have one person I can go to for basic help that I can trust.
I have been dealing with a regression for about 11 months now.
For the first 6 months it wasn't severe yet, so I did all the things you are supposed to do.
1. regulate sleep.
2. eat healthy
3. get exercise
4. mitigate the self-isolation tendencies.
5. take my vitamins
6. meditate, breathing exercises and practice switching focus from the trauma triggers bla bla bla....
7th month the depression, shame, guilt, suicidal thoughts, physical pain, nightmares etc started getting out of control.
So I went to my family physician and requested a psych referral and to start treatment for depression.
I have a very low tolerance to medications, I am the poster child of side effects.
We tried one med that halfway worked until one of my health plans terminated and my cost share became over 200 a month.
Next was the SSRI and I was very open that historically I had very bad reactions to them.
Two months and I am a zombie and my cognition is so impacted I cant even remember the name of my kiddos congenital disease they have had since birth.
Next was Wellbutrin. I took the quit smoking version 20 years ago and it triggered a pretty bad state. This time around It just as bad 3 weeks of reduced sleep,
from 8 hours interrupted to 3 full of nightmares and waking up in panic mode many times a night.
I pushed through cause the first month side effects right. It a massive increase in anxiety so bad I was getting heart palpitation's.
There have been some additional stressors lately.
Sunday I woke up to a simple text that broke me. I cried uncontrollably all day, I went into fight or flight and I freaked when my kiddo touched me.
And I explained very badly why what was being asked of me was expecting too much.
I should have gone to the hospital. I didn't have the presence of mind to get myself there.
We don't have a safety plan for when mommy loses her shit because mommy can usually mitigate her reaction but not this time.
(We have developed a safety plan for if I crack again now)
Now my Doctor is saying he is only a GP and he doesn't want to treat me anymore as he does not want to be liable. he told me I am bi-polar and by this time,
I am stammering saying have you done any research on PTSD? But on the plus side I finally have my psych referral for 18 months from now....
What the Hell do I do now???