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Self care but how?!?!? What do you do after therapy to not feel so... crummy?

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Madmaninabox

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Hey, in therapy last week my T suggested that I make a self care routine for after therapy.
We are doing a trauma narrative and after each of my appointments I feel terrible. I think about self harm a lot ( I have not self harmed in over 3 months) and even have thoughts of suicide. I feel sick to my stomach and have nightmares almost every night after my appointment.
I'm trying to put together a list of healthy coping skills. So far I have thought of making a playlist of music (if you have any song suggestion let me know) and also getting some tea/ coffee.
After I get home thought I just feel terrible and don t know what to do.

So the main question is what do you do after therapy to not feel so... crummy.?
 
I go to work...lol... not exactly good aftercare. For me, it is about avoiding the uncomfortable and getting away from the painful parts. When I get home at night, I usually meditate, have a good meal, take a Xanax and go to bed. I haven't learned to sit with the bad feelings just yet but I have gotten better with at least not going in to a death spiral. Try and come up with 5 things you love to do like watch a comforting movie, eat comforting food, read a book, take a nap, go for a walk, meditate, and see if those things help at all. Great topic! Good luck!
 
After therapy I need a nap. And I take one. It is a do nothing day, so I can chose to do crafts, or look at Pinterest and daydream over what I want to do, I will take a jacuzzi, work in my garden, or look at chicken or seed catalogs in the winter, work outside in the summer. I also journal after. When I wake from my nap.

What do you like to do the most? I also play video games. I've had years to build up a list, but it's important to figure out what you like to do and what makes you feel better. I remember on my first list I had hang with a friend to take my mind off it, read a good book, or an easy, entertaining young adult or cozy mystery book. Can you make a list of things you like, and maybe we can help you turn it into a list of self-soothing things?
 
It's great you are putting together a plan. If my session included EMDR or heavy processing I really need time. I'm in bed with blackout curtains drawn and I sleep usually. Being patient with myself, body scans help me a lot. I start at the top of my head and scan downward through my body trying to locate the source of the anxiety and try to loosen that spot.

Guided meditations on youtube are great. I also meditate on my safe place, preferably with the sound of water playing. Music is great to get lost in or sports, movies. Long hot showers help relax me and make me generally feel better afterward. I like grounding exercises if I get jerky which I am right now, showers can help with that. My body jerking is my most annoying symptom and they happen more often when I am less regulated, it's a sigh I need to do something. Youtube videos on progressive muscle relaxation are good.

I hope you are able to find a few things that help you.
 
Working out helps a lot. Mostly because I’m taking my mind off of things for an hour or two (yoga is especially great) and it makes me tired enough to sleep it off. It’s kind of a distraction thing but I feel a lot better after and I don’t do well with just sitting with what I’ve discussed. It usually creates a spiral for me so getting out of the house to move is super helpful for me.
 
I go to bed and my dogs and cats pile themselves around me. It’s nurturing and comforting. Sometimes a cup of tea and toast with butter is another comfort. I can sleep for several hours no problem. When I wake up I will usually stay in bed but catch up on any work as I work from home on that day. I get up pretty early to smash out a bunch of work stuff so I don’t feel pressured later.

I used to push myself to work or train the dogs and it backfired big time. Your body knows you are rejecting what you NEED.
 
I schedule my therapy appointments for early morning right after I drop my kids off for school. Then I have about 4 hours just for me afterwards. Sometimes I take a nap. Sometimes I go for a walk, preferably on the beach, sometimes a get a good cup of coffee. If it wasn't a particularly bad session I might go to lunch with my husband. I need to feel up to that though. I hang out with my cats. They come lay in bed with me. I have a weighted blanket that helps a lot. I sometimes listen to my favorite radio station. Self care after therapy is very important for me. I would rather not go to therapy if she can't schedule in the morning when I have lots of me time.
 
So the main question is what do you do after therapy to not feel so... crummy.?

Therapy days have always been a huge anxiety overload for me. Knowing that I was going to talk about stuff that I didn’t want to hear myself, let alone burden someone else with. So I tried to think of something that I really liked. For me it was A & W fast food. We live out in the country so I never get to eat that stuff but I love it....lol. So after my session I would head over to the closest one and indulge myself. I’m not good in crowded places so I’d put my earbuds in, turn up my favourite music, pull up my hoodie and just relish the great hamburger and onion rings I was eating. And as funny as it sounds I would concentrate on all the great flavours and how good they made me feel. It really helped to center me after therapy.
Not saying you have to eat but go find something that really lifts your spirits and make a date of it after every time you see the T. The library is another place that I love. So many books and so quiet.
Hope this helps some.
 
I also like bed after therapy. I don’t think this is too surprising, I have night time hyper vigilance resulting in disturbed sleep patterns and I have self isolated- so even going out is a little exhausting. I used to crash out asleep returning from therapy - the best sleep I had all week.

But - I notice that things are changing a little. Sometimes in therapy I don’t experience the kind of wringing experience that requires such recovery. My therapist always asks me to plan on time for a trip to a cafe for a drink that is both a treat and grounding after our session. I rarely take this opportunity but take a thermos to have a quiet drink somewhere pretty now. When I get home instead of crashing asleep I choose rest. I think it’s likely that the aftermath of therapy might start to become a productive couple of hours for me in the future. Maybe a time I take to do tasks like sort out drawers that junk gets thrown into?
 
Sorting drawers sounds like a great thing to do, @Mee. I have to find a plan too since therapy starts again soon. I don't just want to sleep all day anymore since I'm joining up with another homesteader and we're planting an enormous garden. Plus I have hatching eggs and chicks coming so I'll be super busy.
 
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