self-compassion work

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
T has me researching how to change my negative self talk because its atrocious (I had to erase a few more describing words, perhaps I am already being nicer to myself!)

we can remedy negative self talk (self loathing etc) with self-compassion

I liked this website

also to add, worksheets to print free (on that link) which I'm printing next.

for my T homework I am sharing with you so please discuss with me!

notes:

self criticism tends to hold people in place/ keep from moving forward, but it is necessary for self-judgement. (done something wrong need to change)
or-
we believe the thoughts we think, but we must "hold every thought captive" and decide if the thought is true/stays -or- its a lie (ie. Im bad because the trauma response I am having or I am sick etc.) trash it. let it go its not good and not for our healing or better health.

self criticism is balanced through self-compassion!

self criticism is balanced through self-compassion!

self criticism is balanced through self-compassion!

self criticism is balanced through self-compassion!


self loathing (to me) sounds like a waste of time and we ought to try harder to accept love to ourselves if we want to get on to the next parts of healing.

self-examination (judgement) is rooted in self criticism and self compassion is choosing to respond to difficulty with understanding and love, instead of with negativity and self criticism.
(self criticism rooted negatively, self-compassion rooted positively)

*I've had trouble even referring to myself because I want to be overlooked. why?*

how I plan to increase self compassion
1. be aware of self- critical moments, pay attention to self
2. be aware what initiates self criticism

emotions guilt, shame, insecurity spark self-loathing and by paying attention to self-critical moments we then can edit our thoughts to believing what we want/need to believe or whats true.

[my real life example: I feel guilty and insecure that the 10+ people in my home saw me in my underwear (essentially). I'm married and I do not let people see me that way. had it been a swimming pool and not my living room maybe I would have been okay but they weren't supposed to be in my home at that hour, and I felt raped with their eyes.

self compassion view: I saw lots of law enforcement, guns, bust down door things, people guns drawn also pointing around my house going in my back yard. shouting. I opened the door expecting them to tell me they were chasing someone in the woods behind my house! Oh no!. i was wrong. that's it. I assumed they weren't there for me, and they weren't. so I'm actually gonna stop feeling guilty and naked and ashamed. once I have corrected it enough. but in the past. I felt like dirty (still do if i'm honest) for them seeing me like that. & THEY WOULDN'T LET ME PUT A SHIRT ON ;( that hurt more than anything. its nothing I need to feel weird when I'm naked about but this will take time. i know in my heart they probably werent looking at me like that also. see self compassion allows the healing to flow! woohoo!


we need self-forgiveness as well

if anyone is interested in a Bible study on love & forgiveness please let me know, I used to run a blog full of studies, prayers, & devotionals shared with many across the world.

so recap
we feel the emotions guilt, shame, insecurity, and respond in a loving way
its not LOVING OF self ( against my beliefs )but LOVING TO SELF (aligns with my beliefs)
GIVE YOURSELF LOVE & FORGIVENESS ESPECIALLY OVER SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO
'
all of this is for me too and I request please if you will respond- do not argue with me.

some of the thoughts I shared here are not from the link above but a lot of the information is (mods is this good with copyright issues?)

(question: Did I traumatize myself?)
this is my best for now and I hope to learn a lot more
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
*I've had trouble even referring to myself because I want to be overlooked. why?*
Ive had enough staring eyes on me for one lifetime. Im so insecure I dont want to mess anything up. I rather people ignore me but thats not true the real me inside me is dying for normalcy. the normalcy that will be my future of growth and healing.
Did I traumatize myself?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 

Sideways

Moderator
Mod Note:
some of the thoughts I shared here are not from the link above but a lot of the information is (mods is this good with copyright issues?)
I've only gone over it lightly, but it looks as though you've paraphrased parts of the linked page (summarised it in your own words), which is fine.

And back to the topic:
Thanks for linking the page. I digest therapy stuff a lot better when I've got worksheets or workbooks so that I can practice applying the theory - will definitely be giving it a go. But, for me, that will be in small doses, since self compassion is one of those topics that I find reeeeally uncomfortable.
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
self compassion is one of those topics that I find reeeeally uncomfortable.
thank you Sideways I did. I took notes on paper then just uploaded them basically. I take no credit for this info

and very much the same with being uncomfortable. I see that throughout this site. :( for me, it used to not be an issue. now it seems like its proportionate to the trauma
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
I wrote a compassionate letter to myself about a few topics that I predetermined, let time go by, then wrote the letter, and I really love it. Highly recommend. I didn't want to do it but now I want to hug it
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
I have to write another self compassionate letter for T, really me.

This one is a self compassionate letter to self about self care

FACE PALM

can anyone give me some pointers here? I have typed and erased so many times and Im drawin BLANKS
I could try again later. just wondering if anyone has experience which this type approach to healing
 

wisteria

Confident
I printed off the worksheets from #5 from your above link, but I haven't touched it yet, so I'm no help there. But thanks for sharing the link! self compassion is hard. sounds like you got through the first letter (on sunday) with great results. that's encouraging!
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
Ok I'll check out number 5! Thanks didn't mean to be dense about


Editing to say I didn't find a #5 download. Huh. I'm looking for other websites now. I guess I don't want to be nice to myself.

What does discipline have to do with self care? So T doesn't like the way I'm disciplining myself, there's not enough care in it.

Yet I'm able to flood compassion on my kids or anyone else. Still getting over this separation from self.
 
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Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
This is interesting work you are doing. It's something T has been trying to get me to work on.
emotions guilt, shame, insecurity spark self-loathing and by paying attention to self-critical moments we then can edit our thoughts to believing what we want/need to believe or whats true.

I'd add in fear. I think that's a big one.
 

wisteria

Confident
Editing to say I didn't find a #5 download. Huh. I'm looking for other websites now. I guess I don't want to be nice to myself.
Dense? who said anything about dense. Tho now I"m starting to wonder if we are on the same website, lol. This is the #5 I got

Self-Compassion Worksheets #5: CCI’s Self-Compassion Workbook-​

it has a link but I took it off, since I don't know how these things work here yet.
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
ohhhhh its a link

idk Im hard on myself (about the dense) and I imagine people are just as hard on me I guess
insert need for the worksheet lol I will try again thank you @wisteria

so the link is at the end of the title that @wisteria listed above
and scroll all the way down to download the whole workbook I have homework to do
 

joeylittle

Administrator
it has a link but I took it off, since I don't know how these things work here yet.
Links are always OK - it's copy/paste and uploading that you need to watch out for. You can read our Copyright policy for more info.

And any other questions you may have about how the forum works - best to ask them using Contact Us.

Now, back to the thread!
 
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