Self harm saves me from going suicidal

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Hey guys I want to ask I probably have I my previous posts, sorry for reacurring subject matters but this forum gives me sanity.

I have suffered sexual abuse I want to know how long it takes to get better my regulation is all over the place because I also just lost a person I am very close to, I am getting a trauma therapist this week and seeing my psychiatrist, I wrote down everything before the sessions to see him.

I feel like self harm really helps me and my body it has saved me in so many ways possible it helps me function in more ways than most I don't want to give it up unless there is a guarantee that something can really make me feel the same way after like self harm does it's like when my body is dulled it brings it back to life.

I am trying my best to gain all the knowledge I can to help my psychiatrist with my thoughts etc... everything feels like there is just no hope for my recovery even though I know what my problem is if anyone on here has been through something similar of experience can you shed some light I would be very gratefulx

I don't feel sucidal but I don't want to live either I feel more like lifelessness dust floating through life X

I was diagnosed with DID and borderline with complex PTSD x


That’s the thing about coping mechanisms... if they didn’t work? No one would use them. Whether it’s self harm, or drugs, or alcohol, or fighting, or disordered eating, or smoking, or f*cking around, etc.

No one would ever quit using unhealthy coping mechanisms if there weren’t consequences to them we didn’t like, or alternatives that ALSO work, that don’t have those consequences.

And that’s the trick. Finding other things that ALSO work, that don’t have the consequences we don’t like attached to them.


I am so sorry what you went thru and for your loss, it does take time and patience and therapy to heal and a lot of self work. Cutting yourself is only furthering the harm done to you, it may be short term release but is harmful to you and your healing. Instead, look for active things you can do that are helpful to burn off that energy and anger. Walk, art, music, run, boxing class... also, distract yourself with laughter, watch a comedy or listen to a good audio book. You Will get better and in the end help others, look to that and breathe deep in healing and out anger/depression. Also, magnesium and ginseng are great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts and anxiety, taking them has helped many. <3


Have you got access to a DBT group? They’ve branched out the various ways they deliver the content, since a lot of people find the structure of DBT abrasive.

However, it was designed with managing BPD specifically in mind. People that stick through a DBT course (because it’s not a walk in the park) and practice the skills will often tell you that it’s incredibly helpful.

If not, DBT does have a lot of ‘Distress Tolerance’ skills that help a lot of people in the moment when you start to practice them. Again, designed for exactly the type of issues you’re describing, so you might find some helpful info even just working through some of Marsha Lineham’s stuff at home.

There’s an app called ‘Calm Harm’ (freebie) which is designed along a similar theme - ‘urge surfing’.

Hopefully in all of that there’s some alternative strategies for you.

Me personally, I find that self-harm is incredibly addictive, and when I let it run it’s course, I come out at a very different, and much darker place, than when I originally started. Which does a lot of damage to my self acceptance, and ultimately puts huge downward pressure on my mood (which I definitely don’t need).

Alternatives, at first? Probably aren’t going to give you the instant effect that your SH does. However some of the DBT strategies, like TIP skills, are intended to have very instantaneous impact.

Have you got a T that can work through some of the skills-based approaches with? Personally I’ve found psychologists more helpful than pdocs when it comes to learning skills stuff, but that’s just me. Your pdoc may have some resources that they can direct you to as well.


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A trauma therapist will be able to teach you skills so you'll be able to learn emotional regulation by doing the work yourself. This is a difficult but empowering experience. Of, course EMDR helps with memories that are distressing and stuck in the body. Well at least it did for me. Just keep in mind that EMDR is an emotional experience when you first start getting it done if that's an option you're thinking about.
I used SH for years as well and it took a good year and a half of therapy, EMDR, and meds to stop and really be able to emotionally regulate myself without going back to using bad coping mechanisms.
I'm sorry about the violence you've experienced and your loss. A trauma therapist is a great step towards healing.


My therapist never asked me to give up self harm. It just happened. Without me knowing it. Without me even realizing it or trying to do it. The more coping mechasims I learned, the less I needed to self harm.
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