littlestars
Confident
I gained 40lbs since Covid happened. I try to go to the gym but school is so demanding. It takes up all of my time. I’ll lose 6lbs and gain it back over and over just from dieting. I’m tired of this and I guess it’s vain but it makes me suicidal. One of my relationships in the past was horrible and I gained weight and the guy always had something to say that was hurtful. That was many years ago. My new boyfriend is supportive and tries to motivate me. I got triggered today feeling like I was in the old relationship and cut myself. I’m disappointed. I wish I was my normal weight again. I feel so ugly and worthless and not sexy. I feel so shallow for feeling this way but that old boyfriend was a self esteem nightmare. My new one is ok but he’s a couple of years younger than me so he’s not quite on my level…. I wish I could talk to him about this but I just can’t.