trytryagain
Learning
Ugh.. hard truth time. I tend to lose myself in relationships. It's like I isolate myself, and put everything on my partner and I don't have a clue why. Even in this last codependent & short dating experience, I still lost myself. I was using it to avoid facing having to take action to take care of myself better and truly be alone with myself. It was so unhealthy, I literally went from my ex leaving the house, to talking to someone on the phone every night for hours on end. I would wait until he got off work, feeling miserable during the day because I had to sit with me. Not engaging in any of the fun things I wanted to do... just being lost in this person. Since touch is my love language and I was getting some of that, it was so hard to leave it. As much as this part is hard, I'm relieved I can breathe again and not be entirely focused on someone else.
What I love/like/neutrality-to-DGAF/dislike/hate
- What I Value
Honesty, stability, touch, acts of service, health, empathy/patience with my disorder, and options for embracing dominance/submission into our lifestyle
- My Beliefs
I believe in life long learning, kindness, if someone really knows me and cares about me they can sometimes anticipate my needs/wants, and no one has the right to control other people's lives without their consent.
- My Aspirations
I want to be a mental health professional and finish my advanced degree in counseling. I want to better myself and be able to find happiness with just myself so I can truly enjoy happiness with others.
- My Boundaries & Expectations
I expect to be able to make mistakes and not be perfect. I will have boundaries for how much time I spend with someone especially when they are new in my life and how much I share with them. I will limit how much I divulge about myself when meeting new people, and limit how much I overshare with friends/families/coworkers. I will choose what to share instead of rambling it all out without control over it (this is hard for me).
- My Ethics & Moral Code
I will respect other people's boundaries and leave situations where I am not able to. I have to start doing what is right for me, not everyone else. I will not settle for anything less than someone respecting my own boundaries.
I'm supposed to be working on getting back to me. I've done that through exploring with someone else to an extent. I've also done an exercise my therapist recommends where you have three columns to fill out. One is what you need out of a relationship, what you want, and what are dealbreakers for you.
This sense of self exercise seems similar, but with more detail. Thank you for sharing it, it was helpful to fill out and save to talk about later with my counselor.
What I love/like/neutrality-to-DGAF/dislike/hate
- What I Value
Honesty, stability, touch, acts of service, health, empathy/patience with my disorder, and options for embracing dominance/submission into our lifestyle
- My Beliefs
I believe in life long learning, kindness, if someone really knows me and cares about me they can sometimes anticipate my needs/wants, and no one has the right to control other people's lives without their consent.
- My Aspirations
I want to be a mental health professional and finish my advanced degree in counseling. I want to better myself and be able to find happiness with just myself so I can truly enjoy happiness with others.
- My Boundaries & Expectations
I expect to be able to make mistakes and not be perfect. I will have boundaries for how much time I spend with someone especially when they are new in my life and how much I share with them. I will limit how much I divulge about myself when meeting new people, and limit how much I overshare with friends/families/coworkers. I will choose what to share instead of rambling it all out without control over it (this is hard for me).
- My Ethics & Moral Code
I will respect other people's boundaries and leave situations where I am not able to. I have to start doing what is right for me, not everyone else. I will not settle for anything less than someone respecting my own boundaries.
I'm supposed to be working on getting back to me. I've done that through exploring with someone else to an extent. I've also done an exercise my therapist recommends where you have three columns to fill out. One is what you need out of a relationship, what you want, and what are dealbreakers for you.
This sense of self exercise seems similar, but with more detail. Thank you for sharing it, it was helpful to fill out and save to talk about later with my counselor.