(Service dog) Lost hope, looking to be pointed toward any possible solution for how to get another dog in line

littleoc

Sponsor
My service dog is not only turning 12 years old at the end of this month, but her medical problems are also beginning to prevent her from helping me.

I had a detailed and organized plan to get another one. I emailed over forty agencies across the country, even found some private people who were probably just scammers based on how quickly they were willing to accept me if I promised payment.

I narrowed it down to a few trainers and then they asked me for a video tour of the house. I was living on a couch at the time. My technical permanent address was my mom's house, which was a hoarded mess. I called my mom and managed to tell her about my distress, but only by hiding my anger. She responded that I should tell them I just move around a lot.

So then I told her it was already crazy that I couldn't have my own service dog helping me at "home" because I didn't have a place for her. Since moving back. That was in 2018. Since then, my friend and I have been cleaning out my mom's house, but it's not fully ready. All my savings I had used to keep funding my current dog's vet appointments are now gone because of my mom's poor planning, long story short. (All an accident, and not her fault, but I'm angry that I'm the one who had to be responsible, as usual.)

That is, I no longer have the money for a service dog. Not even training my own, to be frank. I had a plan to clean out the living room entirely and put a dog there to be slowly introduced to my current dog, and then just start with the basic obedience training and whatnot. Even found a candidate, recently, but quickly realized after a first meeting that that dog would never be a service dog (no attention on me, refused a treat when he realized he'd have to do a trick).

Does anyone know what I should do now? I'm very worried about what to do when my current dog passes away or just REALLY can't work anymore. I mean, she already can't. I just keep trying. Feeling helpless and anxious about all this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 

Rainman8772

MyPTSD Pro
My service dog is not only turning 12 years old at the end of this month, but her medical problems are also beginning to prevent her from helping me.

I had a detailed and organized plan to get another one. I emailed over forty agencies across the country, even found some private people who were probably just scammers based on how quickly they were willing to accept me if I promised payment.

I narrowed it down to a few trainers and then they asked me for a video tour of the house. I was living on a couch at the time. My technical permanent address was my mom's house, which was a hoarded mess. I called my mom and managed to tell her about my distress, but only by hiding my anger. She responded that I should tell them I just move around a lot.

So then I told her it was already crazy that I couldn't have my own service dog helping me at "home" because I didn't have a place for her. Since moving back. That was in 2018. Since then, my friend and I have been cleaning out my mom's house, but it's not fully ready. All my savings I had used to keep funding my current dog's vet appointments are now gone because of my mom's poor planning, long story short. (All an accident, and not her fault, but I'm angry that I'm the one who had to be responsible, as usual.)

That is, I no longer have the money for a service dog. Not even training my own, to be frank. I had a plan to clean out the living room entirely and put a dog there to be slowly introduced to my current dog, and then just start with the basic obedience training and whatnot. Even found a candidate, recently, but quickly realized after a first meeting that that dog would never be a service dog (no attention on me, refused a treat when he realized he'd have to do a trick).

Does anyone know what I should do now? I'm very worried about what to do when my current dog passes away or just REALLY can't work anymore. I mean, she already can't. I just keep trying. Feeling helpless and anxious about all this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

How much experience do you have in training your own? I only ask because training your own may be the best route for you. Also what do you need the dog to do? Any of us on here with dogs can give you tips. There are many nonprofit organizations out there and you need to get on a list immediately if you can’t train your own. For instance one local for me does training with shelter dogs for veterans. He helped me train my dog on a few hurdles I needed help with. It takes roughly 500-1000 hours to get one close to 100 percent infallible. Some breeds take less time like Labs and Shepard’s it all depends on the dogs drive to work.
 

Friday

Moderator
Does anyone know what I should do now?
To be frank... until you move out of your mom’s house... I can see how having a service dog would be a desire, but I can’t see how it could be a reality. Very nearly all of your time and money and energy is put into taking care of someone else, someone else’s home, someone else’s life. You don’t even have vet money, anymore.

My 2cents = Use those mad organisational skills of yours to collate care for your mom, and a new life for yourself. Hand her the folder with all of the information in it, give her a huge hug, and drive to your new place, with your old dog. THEN start working on getting a new service dog.

Carts and horses. You don’t have a place for the dog to live. You don’t have money to care for either your dog OR a new dog. Do those things, first.

Steps to getting a new service dog
1. Money / Income
2. A place of your own to live
 

littleoc

Sponsor
Thank you for the replies. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you.

How much experience do you have in training your own? I only ask because training your own may be the best route for you. Also what do you need the dog to do? Any of us on here with dogs can give you tips. There are many nonprofit organizations out there and you need to get on a list immediately if you can’t train your own. For instance one local for me does training with shelter dogs for veterans. He helped me train my dog on a few hurdles I needed help with. It takes roughly 500-1000 hours to get one close to 100 percent infallible. Some breeds take less time like Labs and Shepard’s it all depends on the dogs drive to work.
The dog I have now was mostly trained by me, but I'm not confident in my skills. I'm also very worried about picking the wrong dog. I'm a little afraid of dogs.

Are there any nonprofit agencies for people who aren't veterans?

I'm low on energy so I'm not going to list yet what I would need a dog to do for me. But I'll get back to that in a minute.

My 2cents = Use those mad organisational skills of yours to collate care for your mom, and a new life for yourself. Hand her the folder with all of the information in it, give her a huge hug, and drive to your new place, with your old dog. THEN start working on getting a new service dog.
I think you're right, and wise as always. But I'm worried. I think it's going to take a long time for me to move out, because I keep having huge issues. I'm looking for new, more stable work now. But I'm so drained I keep failing.

My dog has turned twelve. I was working somewhere where I had to work without her, and was running into major problems. When I've had to live without her, I've consistently ended up calling police, ending up in hospital, ending up badly injured, etc. I think I've gotten a lot better. But I still struggle to be some places without her. And she's past needing to retire.

If everything were ideal and perfect, I would have a dog being trained right now by an agency, but I don't know if that can happen.

Steps to getting a new service dog
1. Money / Income
2. A place of your own to live
This is a great start. Thank you. I'm not sure it'll be fast enough and the anxiety of it has me frozen. I suppose I should take to a professional about that. I wish things hadn't gone the way they had.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
Carts and horses. You don’t have a place for the dog to live. You don’t have money to care for either your dog OR a new dog. Do those things, first.

Steps to getting a new service dog
1. Money / Income
2. A place of your own to live

This!

I understand the need! Chopper is 6. Not near retirement age but I am planning on looking to retire him around age 8. At least for mobility. And I wanted another dog trained at least for public access before then. But a car is highly more important. I am still looking but not actively seeking yet. I have to get a lot more in place first. I have already gotten a bed and a crate for the 2nd dog. I have a plan on what furniture to get rid of to house another dog. I have a plan on where and how to exercise the 2nd dog. I have vacation set aside for house training a puppy. And I am set financially to care for another dog. I also have plans on continuing the savings account for emergency vet visits. The only thing I don't have is the funds for a puppy from a breeder, which is REALLY what I want. So I'm waiting for now.

Maybe work with your therapist on ways to ween off the service dog a bit. Giving her a break and teaching yourself how to be without her? Maybe work on that while at the same time working on a stable home and financial plan for the new dog?
 

Freida

Sponsor
Bookmark @Friday post so you can go back to it when you get discouraged because it's a plan for moving forward. yes - it's going to take longer than you would like, but you will be going in the right direction which I think will make it easier.

Plus if you are working towards a service dog -- rather than towards fixing your moms life -- it might help you find the opportunities you need. I'm guessing they are out there but you can't see them because you are so entangled with your moms drama. That's not a bad thing - it's just something to be aware of.

You may have to choose between the two.
But hun, like we've talked about before, your mom is an adult, capable of caring for herself and making her own choices. She's not doing it now because you do it for her. So are you really helping or are you enabling?

You're not abandoning her if you choose the SD route rather than the taking care of her route. You are saving yourself and giving her the opportunities she needs to be an adult on her own.
 

littleoc

Sponsor
Hmm. Yeah, that’s true. I’ve been dealing with a lot of guilt at Nestle and at my mom. I’ll talk with my therapist, maybe make another thread on it ?

Thank y’all ❤️
 
Top