Sharing your T with a friend

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Has a friend of yours gone to see your therapist for their own therapy?

I am *very* attached to my therapist. She works in integrative and relational ways, so she's all about the transference and the relationship between us. When I say I am very attached, I really really mean it.

Anyway, my friend wants to start therapy. Not trauma therapy. Just for her things. That's not the important bit.
But she wants a therapist like mine. Me and my friend have had many conversations about how I feel about my T and the work me and my T do together. And my friend thinks this would work for her.

I want my friend to have excellent therapy, so why wouldn't she go to see this therapist?
But also: how am I going to manage if she does?

I am friends with this friend for a couple of decades. I know that if I said I wasn't comfortable with her approaching my therapist, that she wouldn't. She said for me to sleep on it and let her know. We have a good friendship so I know we will respect each other's views.

It's whether I would manage her seeing my T?
Have you gone through this?
 

Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
I can see where this could degrade confidentiality, if you guys started to discuss your therapies with one another and your sessions and whatnot, so I'm not certain your therapist would take a recommendation from your friend (hopefully you would advise her of this beforehand).

But. If you guys do have good boundaries, and you don't talk about stuff like this outside the session, and your therapist is able to provide both of you with therapy that isn't a conflict of interest (will you talk about this friend in your therapy, for example).

Then maybe it could work. This is extremely situational.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
i've never been in that position, but i have shared support groups with friends and family. it worked out just fine. if your therapist has strong ethics, confidentiality won't be an issue. confidentiality is part of the job description.

might it be good for you to get it clear in your head that she is a therapist and not a spouse? just wondering in a not-mine-to-sort sort of way. . .

steadying support while you decide what is right for you.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I can see where this could degrade confidentiality, if you guys started to discuss your therapies with one another and your sessions and whatnot, so I'm not certain your therapist would take a recommendation from your friend (hopefully you would advise her of this beforehand).

But. If you guys do have good boundaries, and you don't talk about stuff like this outside the session, and your therapist is able to provide both of you with therapy that isn't a conflict of interest (will you talk about this friend in your therapy, for example).

Then maybe it could work. This is extremely situational.
Thanks. I think that, given I already talk to my friend about some things T and I work in, that we would prob talk about her therapy too. And I think I would struggle with that.

And yeah, I don't know whether my T would accept the situation .

I haven't spoken about my firend in therapy (other than to say she is one of my best friends and that I told her about some issues,so T knows she is in my support network). And my friend wouldn't be talking about me in therapy. So I think from that side of things, it would be ok.


i've never been in that position, but i have shared support groups with friends and family. it worked out just fine. if your therapist has strong ethics, confidentiality won't be an issue. confidentiality is part of the job description.

might it be good for you to get it clear in your head that she is a therapist and not a spouse? just wondering in a not-mine-to-sort sort of way. . .

steadying support while you decide what is right for you.
Thanks. Yeah, I don't see my T as a spouse but as a parent. And wish that would change! Still got work to do on that one....!

My T is very boundaired.


Thank you both.

I've slept on it and I think I would struggle.
But I think I might mention it to T? Idk. Feel silly doing that.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
But I think I might mention it to T? Idk. Feel silly doing that.

definitely worth mentioning to t. on my own recovery road, the stuff that felt silliest to mention has often turned out to hold my breakthrough. at the very least, being open about the silly stuff gets it out of my intrusive thoughts and into the light of day where it evaporates into gentle, compassionate humor. what's wrong with silly?
 

Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
But I think I might mention it to T? Idk. Feel silly doing that.
Good to mention it.

I think that, given I already talk to my friend about some things T and I work in, that we would prob talk about her therapy too. And I think I would struggle with that.
This part's very telling. I'd run it past your therapist, but I think your gut reaction is right on this. It's not about being attached to your therapist as much as it's about confidentiality, boundaries and maintaining professional ethics vis-à-vis conflict of interest.
 
Top