hey everyone I’m kind of reeling right now. Yesterday in my hometown there was a shooting at the local newspaper’s offices. Five people were killed. Annapolis, MD. Five people lost their lives in the same building I worked in in high school. People we all knew. And across the street from our mall, and I had been there that morning training my SDIT. I started having a panic attack last night because of it but my pup stopped me. It didn’t help our A/C broke and it was 85 degrees in my room with 100% humidity and I was panicking and panicking. I ended up going to my grandparents who live nearby because I couldn’t stop hyperventilating. I’m also coming off of Effexor and while it’s not bad it gives me headaches and the heat makes them 10x worse. Today get back over home and my dad says he thinks my mom may have overdosed on muscle relaxers. She was making no sense and hallucinating so they took her to the ER. My dog was with them and saved her life because she got my dad awake when my mom was getting sick and kept my mom awake. But the blood and urine samples showed no muscle relaxers and my mom insisted all she took was Benadryl and excedrn migraine. She was completely out of it. She was acting like she had had a stroke to be honest (lots of people in our family have had them so we knew the signs). She failed the stroke tests. We still don’t know what it was. No one did a psych evaluation on her. I counted the pills and locked them in my safe and she doesn’t know where they are but she’s had them for almost 5 months and there were only a few missing. It could have been that, it could have been migraine induced, and she also had an infection so it could have been that too. We don’t know. My dad couldn’t get her to go to the ER for hours but I think it’s bullshit he said he was pissed at her and left her alone and went to get coffee without the medications locked up and I’m sick of these people. I’m completely shutting down. I’m not suicidal, and my depression is in check, but I have been completely out of my body for hours now. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone but everyone’s around and I’m sleeping on a couch near where everyone sits. I’m so sick of hearing these people talking and I just want to go to my room but it’s too hot to be in. I really want to move to Oregon and get away and spend my weekends hiking in the mountains. I don’t really know what’s going on and I feel like I have to be ignorant or I’m going to be miserable.