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Should i stay or should i go

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IamFree

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recently been lamenting a lot on the state of my relationships. It seems like they have always been built upon drug use, a shared sense of victimisation, trauma bonding, a perverse need to exploit and be exploited. let go of many of them but still hang on to some mostly out of loneleyness and the fear of it. I know I have been part of the problem but is me walking away part of the solution.
 
Maybe it would be easier to walk away if you had more positive relationships to take their place? It can be scary getting rid of toxic relationships if the alternative is no relationships, because nobody wants to be totally alone. Are you trying to find new friends?
 
I know I have been part of the problem but is me walking away part of the solution.
if you want different people in your life? The solution is to find different people... not attempt to force others to be the people you want them to be.

((Even if your current friends are a bunch of muppets eager and willing to pretend to think/feel/say/do what you want them to, all that is is make believe. Get a sock puppet, to break out when you miss their nonsense... and make new friends. Who already are the people you want them to be. No pretending necessary.))

.o2
 
Maybe it would be easier to walk away if you had more positive relationships to take their place?...
Yes I am taking steps to get involved in other activiites started swimming lessons and beginning dbt group next week and found a music group.

if you want different people in your life? The solution is to find different people... not attempt to fo...
you are right just because I am changing does not mean they are and why should they there just are were there at . I have reached a point were I am thinking if I met these people as I am now I would not choose to enter in to relationship...of course I met them at a time when I would tend to fall into relationship with people with a blindfold on and ear plugs in.
 
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Get a sock puppet,

Friday! You are hilarious :playful::roflmao:

fall into relationship with people with a blindfold on and ear plugs in.

@IamFree - so are you! ;) So, it sounds too easy but it really isn't. Have you taken off the blindfold and tossed the ear plugs? That is a good start tbh. And starting new activities where it is possible to meet people who might be happier and healthier to be around. Take it slowly and find out hey!:cool:
 
Awesome!

Maybe just not focus on this issue right now and let it play out?

As you make new friends you’ll have less room and time for the old toxic friends.

The issue could end up solving itself as you make new connections.

:hug:
 
Maybe it would be easier to walk away if you had more positive relationships to take their place?...
Awesome!

Maybe just not focus on this issue right now and let it play out?

As you make new frie...
yes indeed although there is one person i do want to end the freindship formally with as there are lots of things that was and are terribly wrong , just trying to figure out how though.

Friday! You are hilarious :playful::roflmao:



@IamFree - so are you! ;) So,...
yes i am much more awake these days , getting very adept at knowing what i want to be near and what I do not. thank god my feelings are coming back , there like your satelite navigation keeping you out of the parts of town you do not want to be...The big challenge is learning about what is heallthy in relationships and what is not, i understand there is no such thing as a perfect one..but what i have had is all i have known and i have just felt like this is just the way it is...I feel very strongly now positive relationships need to be built on positive foundations. I have been open to that relationships that started of negative can be healed but this can only work if both sides are changing..often in toxic relationships it seems there is no desire from one side to see the other change.it can be to threataning. In fact what triggered this post was being at a freinds last week and them making a sassy comment to me which was a bit like ouch...you really put me in my place there hey ...but could you handle me or have me any other way...not what i said but what i thought.
 
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