PreciousChild
MyPTSD Pro
Hi all. I haven't posted in a while. I've been feeling pretty healthy and hardly get triggered, which is what often motivates me to run here. I think my boyfriend has a lot to do with it. He has been a reassuring presence in my life. We've been together for over two years. When I get triggered by something he does, I will talk to him, let him know how I'm feeling, and also let him know details about my background that I think is shaping my reactions. He hears me, accepts me, and tells me that he loves me. It's been healing. But I've always known that he's not perfect. He can be a bit self-centered and selfish. Recently, he did something that hurt me. I requested a weekend where he and I would not have our teen boys to celebrate my birthday. He and I both try to do something special. It turns out, his ex needed that weekend, so he let her have it, and rather than talk to me about it or ask me if it's okay, he simply made the plans and proceeded to gaslight me. He has been trying to convince me that I was equally fine with two weekends. In the end, I'm okay with making a switch - I understand custody stuff and things come up. But I'm super uncomfortable that he resorted to trying to convince me to question my perception so that I could take part or all of the blame, rather than just discuss the situation with me straight up. We talked about it, and he did apologize for his part after I finally got him to admit that what he was trying to convince me of was not true. My question is, should I be worried? Should I put my trust in him on hold? Like many of us who have cptsd, I have a very diminished capacity to heed red flags.