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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Mustangsally91" data-source="post: 1709735" data-attributes="member: 50173">Hello,  I am new to this site and I am hoping that reading of other people's struggles with anxiety and how they manage will help me. I've suffered from this damn disorder for way to long....way back in October of 1995. At that time my whole world was falling apart. I found out my husband had loaned money to our son when we had agreed we would stop doing that. My only daughter was pregnant, not married and decided she was going to move in with the baby daddy. I had a long discussion with my Mom about things I had kept inside all my life but it only made her turn everything around on me and blamed me for being to sensitive. She wouldn't even say she was sorry for making me feel I was not wanted and not as important as my brothers. On the day after coming home from work, I was a nurse then, I was sitting in rush hour traffic when all of a sudden, I felt like I couldn't breathe, felt nauseous, faint and wondered what was going on. All I could think about was trying to get home but passing out and causing an accident; hurting someone and myself. Just as the light changed, I remembered that not far from where I was at, there was a small hospital and I needed to get myself there. Thank God that I managed to get there and that is when I was told I had had a panic attack. The doctor wanted to give me an injection I suppose to calm me down and asked if I had someone who could come and drive me home. I didn't have anyone I could call so he wrote me a prescription for a weeks worth of xanax and I was to see my regular doctor. By the time I left the hospital it was dark and so I drove straight home. I never even mentioned what happened to me to my husband as I felt he wouldn't care. Unfortunately, that panic attack had affected me so bad and I related driving with that attack and soon, I wasn't able to drive to get myself to work and I had to quit......it was so hard as my nursing had meant so much to me. Well, now it is 2020 and we all know what a horrible year its been with COVID and being isolated and now, I am a widow having lost my husband over 2 yrs, ago due to his bad heart. I wake up early every morning at 4 am. I can't get back to sleep even if I try as I start thinking about how lonely life has been and having to face another day alone. My two kids live far away and they seldom call home. My neighbors never talk to me and so I wonder why I am even here. Now my doctor won't refill my anxiety medication as he says he needs to see me. I have told the idiotic receptionist that at this time, I don't feel comfortable coming into the office with the increase in COVID causes here in Utah, didn't make any difference. Now I have been forced to stop taking my medication and of course the anxiety has gotten out of control. Stopping any medication cold turkey is dangerous but my doctor doesn't care so I have to find a new doctor but who? Does anyone have any ideas as to a natural remedy to help with anxiety and something you've tried that has helped you? Thanks everyone.</blockquote>

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