Simple things makes me spiral out

jch

Confident
I've been trying to understand why I've been troubled the last couple of days. I've been doing really good lately. It came to me tonight. My mom made a comment about my hair. Sounds like nothing, but I never usually have hair. I shave it off because it's really thick and gets hot, but I've had compliments on my hair before. Then I'd get teased because it's kind of, I don't know, "fluffy" or something. Well, I decided I wanted to grow it out because I never had before. I like it. It looks good. I've been feeling better about myself. Then I go talk to my mom. She asked about my hair, and called me mommy's little girl. How can one jab effect me so much? Now I just feel ugly, and self conscious. Right when I had two days off work. So what did I do? Injure myself over, and over with hateful thoughts. Seems like I undid everything I've done to move forward. I have thick skin usually, but with my family there isn't any skin at all.
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
If it's a trigger for you, perhaps you can work on dealing with triggers so they don't affect you so deeply. Anthony has an article on this. How to use triggers as a means to recovery?.

Use your grounding exercises. You are not your mother's opinion of your hair. You are a human being searching for meaning in a crazy world. It's hard to deal with this stuff after first getting diagnosed, but then you are able to work through a lot by grounding and self care, and you don't notice all the things that PTSD does to you, and they aren't as awful if that makes sense.
 

jch

Confident
If it's a trigger for you, perhaps you can work on dealing with triggers so they don't affect you so deeply. Anthony has an article on this. How to use triggers as a means to recovery?.

Use your grounding exercises. You are not your mother's opinion of your hair. You are a human being searching for meaning in a crazy world. It's hard to deal with this stuff after first getting diagnosed, but then you are able to work through a lot by grounding and self care, and you don't notice all the things that PTSD does to you, and they aren't as awful if that makes sense.
Thanks. I think I'm still trying to handle my emotions after getting off of my medication. I think I got use to feeling nothing. So these strong emotions are hard to handle. I read the article, and I'm going to put it into practice. I tend to post on here when I'm a little over emotional. Thanks for the advice. There are a lot of caring people in this community, and I'm extremely thankful for every one you.
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I'm glad you do post when you're "over emotional", that's what we're here for. I also wouldn't call your reaction over emotional. You are not on your meds, and you know that takes a huge toll on you. At least it does for me. This is not an easy illness, it's really, really hard and no one would want to have it if they really knew what it was like.

Is that your kitty? Very cute! I have a grey striped one.
 

jch

Confident
I'm glad you do post when you're "over emotional", that's what we're here for. I also wouldn't call your reaction over emotional. You are not on your meds, and you know that takes a huge toll on you. At least it does for me. This is not an easy illness, it's really, really hard and no one would want to have it if they really knew what it was like.

Is that your kitty? Very cute! I have a grey striped one.
Thank you. It's nice to know people care. That's my brother's cat Timmy, but he likes me best lol. Love cats.
 
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