I had a couple of different vivid dreams last night and can't recall anything but it was very engaging while it lasted. Didn't wake up til 4pm so can't have coffee otherwise will not be able to sleep again. I keep having busts of energy in the early morning. My brain fog is so bad I'm taking minutes just to form a sentence.
Another thing, around midnight I had another binge and well didn't realise how stressed I was. My muscles were literally clenched for no reason.

I've managed to keep my food during the day for a while and idk, was just really damn hungry yesterday, out of nowhere and with no changes...
Haven't calculated everything yet, I'm guessing it's over 3000 cals. I've been so obsessed with numbers but still don't have the ability to make an estimation?
I don't know what to think. I can't tell if I was panicking after eating, won't be surprised if I was considering my view on food. Had heart palpitations, hot flushes and sweating and went into fight response. As in, I had memories of that one person who left me like this and well, I can't exactly blame him when I was the one who choose to eat so didn't feel like doing anything destructive, I mean I'm definitely not on with allowing myself to eat but it seems to have soothe the irritation I've been feeling all day.
Was it worth it? No, I think I'd rather still be restless and annoyed then full. I can't find any reason to let this body survive.
Still feel completely nothing after a half a day, much better and calmer but I still don't have emotions.