Smaller thing bothered me again

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8888

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Today I ordered a drink with my take-out food and it came with a straw. My abuser did something with a straw so it reminded me of that. Usually it doesn’t bother me much because I processed that memory a lot in trauma therapy and it wasn’t as traumatic compared to other things that happened. But today I am just feeling off I guess so it was more bothersome. I still managed to enjoy my meal. It just bothers me that even the things I thought I overcame still get to me sometimes.
 
It shits me when things my abuser did still intrude on my life, after so much work trying to rebuild a world for myself where he isn't relevant.

One day, maybe.

But this:
But today I am just feeling off I guess so it was more bothersome. I still managed to enjoy my meal.
Today, I'm just feeling 'off'. Which is shit, but the POS tried to destroy me. He didn't. He failed miserably. He's reduced to irritation and straws, and not big stuff, like running out of my life completely, locking myself in my room for a week, ending up in hospital or hurting myself.

Look how far you've come. Despite him. So fk the straw. I'm sorry you're distressed right now, but you're doing awesome when the whole picture is considered. And you can have a meal out and enjoy it any damn day you like. So, you win.
 
i'll join the choir about this being a smashing success. life's just full of irritations. how lovely to have reduced the memory of your trauma to a mere irritation which does not have the power to ruin a good thing. i wish i could do the same with flies and mosquitoes. those buggers really know how to spoil a good meal.

life's chockful of irritations. i often think the secret to happiness is being able to look past the irritations.
 
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