It does help me sometimes, but it also tends to make me more dissociated. And since I've begun with EMDR I've had really awful panic attacks after smoking it. Recently I tried using herbs/leaves instead of tabacco and that completely extinguished my panic and reduced my dissociation. I like to use lavender, passionflower, damania and mugwort.
I’ve always been highly dissociative. It’s just a fact of life for me. Weed does enhance it, which I view as a mixed bag. I didn’t start using regularly until well into my 40s, so I speak as someone who had a long existence as a non-user, and I’ve noticed a big difference in my life since I started medicating.
Weed doesn’t just offer a regular escape from my feelings of tension, rage, and self loathing; it also allows me to work on my intrusive ruminations with a moderating quality. While baked, the same ugly thoughts intrude into my brain, but I’ll think differently (less negatively) about them. It’s like the weed is allowing me to access a less self-defeatist way of looking at things. I guess it’s almost like turbo-charged, self-administered CBT/ DBT. Like I’m my own (good, effective) therapist! Sometimes I’m even able to recall some of my weed-facilitated breakthroughs when I’m totally sober and use those realizations to soothe myself when I’m starting to spiral. Doesn’t always work that way—I still struggle a lot—but even just knowing (thanks to weed) that those neural pathways exist, and how it feels when I can access them, and what I’m capable of in terms of moving towards healing, is incredibly therapeutic. Oh, and boy does it help with that beast: insomnia.
FWIW, my understanding of the basis of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy is that you’re induced into a dissociative state by the substance, and in this state, the brain is more open to being “worked on” therapeutically.
Of course there are some downsides. I’m much less motivated and clear-headed when I’m regularly using. That’s ok, since I’m old now. Glad I didn’t use as a youngster. I don’t think I’d have accomplished nearly as much as I did in life. Plus it can be an expensive habit. I need to start growing my own, I suppose. Wish I had a green thumb.
BTW, for those who wish to partake, my personal recommendation is to consume edibles rather than smoke
I was dependent on smoking weed for two decades. Eventually I was smoking all day long. I was hiding from people and life. I quit 13 months ago and started being honest with people, vulnerable about my dependence, my habit, and all my relationships improved. I sought out therapy and I finally started healing after I stopped smoking.
It helps until it doesn't... I'm trying to figure this out too. Ive been smoking regularly through the day...for the last couple of years. I was wondering how much it was helping so the past week I have only allowed myself to smoke in the morning when I wake and in the evening just before bed...
I also switched to only using vaporizer cartridges so no more RSO or flower.
I like the dissociation sometimes...it takes me out of the world...so it's useful...
I used to smoke it quite often and enjoyed it lots but I was still dissociating just with a warm fuzzy feeling but beware (just my experience) through getting triggered alot during that time while being high I started getting panic attacks every time I smoked and I can`t do it anymore.
I wouldn`t say I miss it but I do regret smoking too much/careless and just not being able to (or rather not wanting to) smoke again.
My advice would be as with everything use responsibly and depending on your circumstances only doing it when already feeling grounded/safe/emotionally stable. Just remember however week it certainly has some psychedelic effects and thus can somehow alleviate the state you were in before. In my case I believed I was too dumb to not listen to my body and just destroyed it for myself
Might be just my case so you do you but sharing is caring or so I heard and you should keep the reeper`s fun forever :D
Hello, same as everyone, there's the good and the bad. I'm 47 and never was a user, other than taking a puff here and there, out of politeness more than interest. From 16 to 45, weed made me feel horrible, couldn't stand not to be in control, not to be fully awake around people.
- At 45, I smoked a joint while watching Psycho by Hitchcock and it was a revelation : the slowed weed-time made me see more things in the psyche of the characters than I had seen before, without weed. I tried again with Alfred Hitchcock's Presents series and I was blasted by the depth of the characters. It helped me a great deal at seeing things in my life, I was like a blind person seeing for the first time. But even then it was very occasionnal.
Also the best part was going to bed, high on weed, entering slowly into sleep and getting blasted again by the racing flow of my own thoughts, inbricated one into another, making perfect sense, as if for the first time in my life.
- And then recently for like 3 months or so, I used weed more systematically, because I couldn't sleep at all and it helped me. And at that point, I used that state of racing thoughts to ask myself questions, while "the guard/the conscious state" was off. And I've had the most emotional connection or reconnection with a part of me that knows more on my early years at the time of the trauma, 3 years old, than I do. At first I've had a fit of rage at that part, accusing it/me of ruining my life with and avoiding strategy, that is so good that I'm cut off from everything and everyone. Pure furor. The following night, I finally understood that part, apologized to it/me, had a heartfelt hand over my arm, I talked to it/me to tell it that I would acknowledge its presence and what it says from now on. It liberated a flux of sensations in numbed body parts that I'm used to but had never understood before : it really felt like buoys floating in a small perimeter at the surface tied to a rope going underneath at the bottom of the ocean, at the the time of the trauma, past and present making perfect sense, linked by a continuous meaning. I can't believe I've been living doubting and denying the obvious for so long. I do still have these moments of doubt, but nothing as bad as before and when it happens, I look back at the evidence, at the bottom of the ocean, linked to the present by a rope. Whenever that happens I reassure myself that I believe myself, and that now we are one.
So that was a pretty fantastic experience for me and a huge step forward.
The downside of this is that it "wrecks me" a bit physically and also mentally. The experience was very strong and my nerves are electric, and I'm wasted. I need rest from this. Also I certainly don't need to get hooked on that or anything else, and I'm well aware I have an addictive personality, so I'm really careful and I know when to stop.
For what it's worth, on the psychosomatic/addiction side : I'm back at smoking tobacco because I have ulcerative colitis, that clearly is psychosomatic, my body screaming "Stop the denial". I don't want to take drugs that ruin the liver and kidneys, as other UC sufferers have kindly warned me. I've read studies that say that smoking can put UC in remission (and it worked once before on me). They don't know how, as nicotine patches don't work to achieve remission. But I've read other studies explaining it's not the tobacco that puts the UC in remission, but resuming the addictive conduct. That it is well known that in cases of psychosomatic diseases, it often happens that quitting an addiction gives rise to a psychosomatic disease, that stops when resuming the addiction. That is not to say that addictions are good, they do get in the way of fully understanding the trauma(s) and get rid of it. What I understand from all that is that resuming my addiction put my UC in remission in 10 days, that it's psychosomatic, that I have more work to do to calm down (according the good advice of Bessel Van der Kolk), be kind to myself and no more bullying, in order to access as much as I can the horrible events buried in me, that cast a shadow over my life. And prepare myself to quit smoking at some point.
Weed is great for me in small doses, occasionnally, not every day, in order to keep getting the best of it.
(the end) :
Weed is great for me in small doses, occasionnally, not every day, in order to keep getting the best of it. I don't need to be wasted, literally. High is good, not wasted :) Last : it's not good to go full throttle digging in my memories, it really is a shock physically and mentally, it must be gradual in order to maintain the efforts at rebuilding my life, work, meeting friends, flirting :) The goal is to live well.
One more thing :
Studies say that heavy weed smoking during years (I think I've read 6 to 8), shrinks the brain, the grey matter. To compensate this, the brain creates a lot of fine connections that non-users don't have. After a while (unspecified), they shrink too. So damage to the brain is something to be aware of, especially for people with trauma, who already have a brain wired specifically because of the trauma (when during childhood) : the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis (HPA axis) is thought to underlie stress-related psychiatric disorders such as PTSD, with a ripple effect on numerous organs (including cavities).
I'm a recent and occasional smoker, so I'm not worried about that, but I have taken every possible legal psycho drugs and have no studies to tell me how much it wrecked my brain, on top of the childhood trauma. It's hard to live without some narcotic, but a full blown addiction, gee, I don't need that.
Do all of you use it just to relax or to purposefully probe to find meaning, answers ?
Not specifically for disassociative problems but they are in there too. I use both CBD and THC.
CBD is the one that helps most with everything. Reducing stress is the biggest part. It just seems to take that background stress and anxiety level down to where I can function better. It also reduces physical stress in that it relives arthritis pain in old injuries and helps with an issue with my medication where one of my meds has a diabetic effect about 4 hours after ingesting it. It also seems to be a cushion for stressful events - a buffer. It lets me recover more easily.
Balanced - Equal parts CBD and THC will modify and reduce the high effect, that's why most recreational product has almost no CBD content. However in the same way that whole foods are good, whole plant is good too. There are 200+ compounds in cannabis besides CDB and THC and in the same way phyto nutrients occur in food, it is believed that some of the phyto components are the most beneficial.
THC - whole different thing. Mostly, for trying to sleep. Usage varies. I find it helps with intrusive thoughts as well. It was the hard part of the solution to figure out too. The right solution took a while to find. There is a simple rule to follow though.
The goal of any medication is to use the absolute least you can to alleviate your symptoms. Over time cannabis usage can creep up until it becomes a problem. That's why you will need a cannabis doctor, a plan, and you need to track usage. Fanatically track usage.
Keep a journal, make notes in your diary, on your calendar, whatever but track what you use, when you use and effects. Make it a habit from the beginning. Review your usage and effects regularly. Weigh for yourself if there is help or hurt.