WishfulThinking123
MyPTSD Pro
I realize that I cant remember the majority of my sexual history. I only remember losing my V to rape which I disassociated...so missing the middle part and I disassociated in every encounter since. I'll remember incidents/certain things but, dont even know where on timeline it occurred and then about half of my sexual partners I dont recall at all (I know how many there were because, I counted them at one point so, I knew them at one point)- I cant even remember who my 2cnd one was after my rape which I think would be extremely helpful to know if this was a bad or good experience but, who am I kidding- since there were so many assaults and more rape but, I just wish I could remember. Honestly I think even in my marriage I'm probably not remembering everything- all of the abuse. I wish I could just know...I wish there weren't all of these blanks... Is there any chance of me ever recovering these memories?