i have a lot of trouble with suicial feelings--those "intrusive thought" that just jump at me when i'm driving, etc.(i can usually ignore those-unless i am really down) then there are the thoughts when i get so far down. i take 3 antidepressants, can't take any more med. my husband went out of town for a bus. trip, all i could think about was to find where he hid the guns from me.well, i finally found one, no plans to use it right now, but i know it's not good , as i am down most of the time lately. i don't really want to take my life, but sometimes i get desperate to get away from the things in my mind.it seems like i am obsessed with suicide, and i don't understand. i actually pulled in front of a semi a few months ago, thinking it couldn't hurt the driver. he very nearly turned his truck over, going off the road to get around me. thank God, he wasn't hurt. if anyone knows how to get out of this thing, or how to make the flashbacks go away(that's when i get down the most)please let me know. i am making my poor husband nearly as depressed as myself. Cookie