So I Fancy

[sonicwhite]

this gal who is the daughter of my roommates. She is ten years younger then me and she has a little girl. She has been dragged thru the mud by her ex's and mother. She shaved her head out of pure idk what the hell to do type of attitude, I still think she is pretty. Fickle face nothing special. But to me it's very almost everything I ever wanted. Her dad is a tough one.


I asked her one day to go out. She said my dad will kill you. I said I know your dad and I know his limits but you know him more so I'll respect you. She was dating a guy that I knew wasn't right for her. But I'm too scared to ask. I have been rejected but also asked but by the wrong type of woman. I want love, not lust. I want to grow together and not shrink into pain and anger. I want a friend that will hold me when I am always hurting. May God bless me one day with someone I can share my pain but love to. May we carry our yoke together and always cherish whatGod built from the dust up.

 

[sonicwhite]

Anyone have any suggestions on how to approach this?

 

[sonicwhite]

Oh well, their will be another. Darn shyness. And racked brain.

 

[Fadeaway]

After reading you previous couple of threads...you are asking for more trouble than you can handle. There is no way on earth I would advocate you getting into a relationship right now. The issues you described in your other thread must be dealt with before getting into a relationship or you would cause both of you a lot of hurt.

Then to add the fact she is your roommates daughter into the mix and the fact that she has a child!!! No, just no!

Dude, you must get healthier first. We all want love, but based on you thread just prior to this one, you would setting the stage for a dysfunctional relationship.

As you know, I grew up around Meth addicts. I have seen the pattern you are following a thousand times. You have to get further away from the addiction before getting into a relationship or you will bring that person down with you.

 

[sonicwhite]

Ya that's what I fear. I fear that the most. Eleven years and I still havnt learned. Man what am I going to do with myself.

 

[Friday]

Get stable before dating someone with children.

 

[sonicwhite]

I have tried therapist. I know my pdoc knows I'm on something. Twelve step program? Idk if I'm ready.. I have to really repent of my actions.

 

[sonicwhite]

I hate this life. I was doing just fine hearing little insignificant voices that I had good insight. Knew that where in my head. Ppl said I was a religious nut but I loved God I tried to resist everything I knew offended God. I go to a shrink, they put me on risperdal. Then I started to have obsessive thoughts. Then the anxiety was so much that I needed a klonopin and downhill from there.

 

[Ronin]

Sonic, you have it very black on white.

She has a child as a first responsibility. You have difficulty with basic things as roommates in your life and controlling your addiction on a very basic level.
She had hell of a prior relationship. That's not something a person bounces from with a mere wish.
And thirdly, her father is strongly against. Probably with damned good reasons, wanting to protect her from more harm.
(I'm concerned about the age difference because it can mean hell lot of a power difference in many settings, but letting that one slide by now.)

What part of this /doesn't/ read 'Back off', to you?

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm choking down all of this. I know I have issues. I know that compromise moves ppl along. I had my joy and now it's on to working on me. I had zero nightmares last night which is good. May God bless you all this Easter. It's about Christ rising from the dead and not rabbits or bunnies.

 

[Sideways]

As long as you can keep it within the reality that "this is a reeeally bad idea that I'm definitely not going to act on", then you know what? It's actually kind of nice that your head is doing something other than the "I'm lazy and worthless" thing it was set on before.

Nicer thoughts to have...just keep them as thoughts;)

 

[Ronin]

^ This.

Ideation of any sort is just that, ideation. It's being able to tell what's right / useful / appropriate one, and which one to act on, that makes a difference.

Happy Easter to you too, Sonic.