So in my head about it all


Start with therapist again on the 5th Jan. I'm not really sure how all this is going to go. I do want to talk about it all, I really do....I need to.... but it's so hard when I can't say the words and because I'm so in my head about it all! worried about other people finding out, being told I have to name people or that I should be making a report, as well as people not believing me...because then what? If no one believes me about anything? It's not that I'm trying to protect these people, it's that I don't think I'll ever really be ready for all the trouble it would cause if people did find it all out.


Therapists dealing with trauma try and help heal the damage caused to you. Stepping back for a moment from your own situation, that means:
  • If talking about it out loud, or naming names, isn't what you need to heal right now, then that's okay.
  • Reporting, unless there are children at imminent risk, isn't a goal unless it's going to help you heal (and it very often has the opposite effect, so, IME, most Ts don't recommend it as part of your treatment).
  • It's all confidential.

If you need to communicate certain things to your T in a way that doesn't involve saying words out loud (emailing or writing notes are 2 common alternatives), that would be very normal.

It's stressful starting with a new T. At first, though, it's about establishing a bit of a relationship, setting goals, and getting a basic idea of the type of life you've had to being you to this point. You got this.


I like the way your fears work… they’re trying to map out possibilities and ways to deal with them.

Fears can be sooooooo irrational, but yours? Are staying on topic. (At least mostly! I’m relatively certain you’ll have at least a few wild ass, not even gonna mention it, kind of fears that drop by for a visit on the adrenaline rollercoaster, as most of us do. But summarily dismissing them, to focus on what’s real?) That speaks to good instincts, and a fine mind behind those instincts.

What helps me the most with my own fears

1. What you & @Sideways have just done, by mapping them out. Fear let’s us know something is a possibility, however unlikely. (Sure that plane overhead could burst into a million pieces and I could be killed by a flaming lavatory seat falling out of the sky. But, it and the thousands of other planes overhead still haven’t done that, because it would be getting stuck by lightning whilst being attacked by a shark kind of rare. So breathe.) As emotions don’t logic so hot. Which is what we’ve got minds, for. To look at our fears, and determine both likelihood & best courses of action.

Fear let’s us know something is possible. Our minds prioritize those possibilities, and seek solutions.

2. Paralysis by Analysis <<< As in reminding myself not to get stuck there!

3. Action Kills Fear <<< Okay! Now that we’ve recognized it & sifted/sorted/solved for it? Time to do something about it.

You’re going to be brilliant. Whether this new T is a perfect fit or a total oxygen thief, to cross off your list as you keep up your search for a new T to partner up & work with? YOU are going to be totally badass.


therapists are under the same confidentiality clauses as doctors. they are ethically bound to keep anything you say confidential. that makes them a safe place for that initial opening of the repressed thoughts and emotions.

set yourself free, lucy. give yourself the gift of relief of venting all those toxic wastes from your head.