BlackbirdSinging
MyPTSD Pro
Do you ever feel pressured by social interactions? I do. I'm feeling it right now. I feel like since I'm depressed that sometimes I have to appear to others more lively and happy than I actually feel. I feel like if I don't have the response they're looking for they'll take it personally. So, I'll be really animated and smiling for as long as I can and then I feel like I can't anymore. Like the whole spoon thing. I feel like I run completely out of spoons. My phone will buzz with texts and I'll feel like "who wants what from me now?". I'll get all involved in something and someone will say something to me or call me or text me and I feel emotionally exhausted and even irritated.
It's one of the times I'll isolate. I want almost everyone to leave me alone. Don't text. Don't call. I need quiet. No more expectations. No more appointments phone calls or texts. No pressure. Just for now please, let me fill up my tank again. Please, let me pick up all of my spoons again. But, I can't say that to people. Most people would take that personally. And when it comes to my kids I'm the only parent they have. They're in their 20's but, they still need me.
The other side of this is when I'm done isolating and I look for the phone calls texts and conversations people have backed off and I end up feeling lonely and alone. How do you cope with this? What do you do when you hear your phone buzz with a text and your first response isn't "ooh I wonder who it is" but, instead it's "why?". What does this even mean?
It's one of the times I'll isolate. I want almost everyone to leave me alone. Don't text. Don't call. I need quiet. No more expectations. No more appointments phone calls or texts. No pressure. Just for now please, let me fill up my tank again. Please, let me pick up all of my spoons again. But, I can't say that to people. Most people would take that personally. And when it comes to my kids I'm the only parent they have. They're in their 20's but, they still need me.
The other side of this is when I'm done isolating and I look for the phone calls texts and conversations people have backed off and I end up feeling lonely and alone. How do you cope with this? What do you do when you hear your phone buzz with a text and your first response isn't "ooh I wonder who it is" but, instead it's "why?". What does this even mean?