Social Media And Texting

[whserenitynluv]

I went in to see my t for the first of three times this week. She is amazing, I feel like I can tell her anything and she understands so many things. It's relieving. As you know or as you might not know there have been people on here and other sites that have been referencing to things in my life. Even though they don't directly say it, and may not mean it for me at all. She said maybe I have pushed people away so far that it was the only way for them to reach me. That was an eye opener for sure.

We had talked about texting and Facebook today. I explained that for whatever reason I decided to allow all sorts of people onto my website, and didn't think that was a bad idea. Which in some cases I guess it isn't. But because of the status of my ptsd a, as soon as someone mentions something familiar to me, I take it to an extreme level. I take everything to an extreme level, always have. This is the first time in my life were the word change meant go to any lengths , she recommended that because Facebook has been used as abuse before, and texting also has been used as abuse before, that it was time to shut them down. Even if there was hackers in my account and even if they can se through the lens and hear through the speakers and write on the wall, that it isn't nice and it is a bully move. But in the future when I reopen one it's important for me to be familiar with everyone on there, because strangers are a huge trigger to me as of now. Made sense so I shut it Down. Also I don't use text either as of now because texting for one thing gets me out of communications and has cause pd problems, but it is another trigger because people have used that for abandonment or a way of abuse, even myself. Because of were I am at it is important to do what she says is recommended because I trust her.

One of the hardest things to ask her was about meeting someone functional who was going to accept my trauma or am I destined to be alone the rest of my life, this was a heart wrenching question because I've avoided the suggestion of therapy for so long because I really didn't want to face the fact of ptsd. She reassured me that by doing this you will find functional relationships a functional partner, if you didn't do this then you won't because it will get in the way, and if your friends and future partners don't support your efforts they are not your friend. It's real diving to hear that, because I was afraid of that.

We have a new plan and are involving another specialist as Weill which is exiting, I hate to admit the fact I have ptsd, or even admit the fact of something wrong at. ALl. Has anyone ever felt this way, or been told that? Thanks for listening:)

 

[rainy_daze]

I used to hate admitting it, but I don't now. I struggle sometimes to get the words out. For example when the physiotherapist asked me endless questions at my first appointment, I struggled to know whether I should tell her or not. I admit I have PTSD and depression to health people. I leave out the dissociation though. [I learned in therapy that telling health professionals is fine, because they know about it, and it can help me ask for the support I need]

When it comes to friends, it depends if I feel a person needs to know or if I feel comfortable enough, as people usually want to know why and that becomes more difficult to admit/talk about. I have had people say things like "But I thought only soldiers got that?", and then I have to explain, and this can lead into a greater discussion that I often find too emotionally painful. I'm still learning how to deal with situations like that.

So yes, I have felt that way in the past, but maybe over the last decade I'm used to it now. I'm used to being able to admit to having the disorder, even if I hesitate at first. There is no shame in having it. Those who do not try to understand or support me, well, I don't need them.

Good luck with therapy @whserenitynluv and the new specialist :tup:.

 

[arfie]

I healed far enough to find a functional partner before the internet, cell phones or even the establishment of the PTSD diagnosis, but I believe the rest is relevant. Yes, I was told that facing and dealing with my psychological problems would continue to be an obstacle to forming functional relationships. I had been in therapy for 6 years before I got married 34 years ago. Still married. Not perfect, but highly functional.

Keep working, whserenitynluv. I know it is hard, but I believe it is worth it.

 

[whserenitynluv]

Thanks @rainy_daze and @arfie for your stories and your experiences. My t and my Dr are wonderful people. She said to me yesterday when I went in that ptsd sis kinda like someone who uses a spoon to dig a hole when a shovel is right there. She said it's just the way the mind thinks. For most people this doesn't make sense, but to people with untreated ptsd, especially people who have refused it so long have come up with coping mechanisms and have a high sence of I can do this myself perception. She knew how I felt about medications, and my history of extremes, even dangerous ones along with running. She said these kinds of thinking are not healthy and this is why we are involving even more to the party of recovery because I told her I am willing to do whatever it takes. I shut down my original facebook, wrote down my behavior on facebook that wasn't appropriate, sold my cell, and my new phone don't answer text messages.
I'm super sad to have to admit my ptsd... Because most people would be like, yeah don't need that baggage see ya... Makes me cry right now actually. But I trust what she said, it's the only choice I have.