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Social media during space

Discussion in 'Supporter Relationships' started by master z, May 19, 2018.

  1. master z

    master z Member

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    has anyone ever been asked to give space n the sufferer is all over social media? What are tips not to take it personally
     
    EveHarrington likes this.
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  3. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

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    This is such a common question. Social media use has nothing to do with isolation periods. I say this not only to the OP but to any one who runs across this thread, STOP trying to judge what is going on with someone based on their social media use. It is an illusion and has nothing to do with how good or how poor a sufferer is doing.

    It is completely irrelevant, yet so many people feel confused when sufferers need space from the people we care about, but spend a lot of time on social media. Trust me, it isn't the same, they are very seperate issues.
     
  4. master z

    master z Member

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    Why I brought it up. I am someone who gets the two issues brought up.
     
  5. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    Internet usage is pretty superficial. At every step of the way we can take it or leave it. Not so with face to face relationships. I mean we can pick and choose our social media involvement at every turn. We can walk away with no notice. Actual 3D real world face to face relationships? We can’t simply be superficially involved. We can’t just walk away in a heartbeat. In summary, social media makes no demands of us, has no requirements. Real world relationships do, no matter how casual.
     
  6. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    If you are really overwhelmed and burnt out at work, so decide to take some time off... do you sit in corner in the dark chanting doom and gloom and dark despair!

    Maybe, I suppose? :O_o:

    But most people rest / recharge / get their head back in the game in a variety of different ways. Even the exact same person may stay at home in bed one day, go out dancing another day, lay around on the beach a third day, take off on a road trip the 4th day... hell fly to Rio and go to carnivale.

    None of which means that they’d be ready to return to work on day 2, because if they can do more than stay in bed? They’d better be at work!

    None of which means they don’t love their job, or that they won’t be back at work in 2 weeks energized and ready to rock out. (If you reeeeeally loved your job you wouldn’t need time off! Your job misses you, and feels unimportant, and wants you to call them every day to tell them how much you hate being on vacation, and how you’re not reeeally interviewing for other jobs).

    Also, what everyone else said. Online and IRL aren’t the same thing.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2018
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  7. Sweetpea76

    Sweetpea76 Semper ubi sub ubi. Moderator Donated

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    I know it seems like a kick in the teeth... they can talk to every other person in the universe but won't talk you when you're closer to them than everybody.

    You're work. They have to put effort into your relationship. Everybody else is just a blip on the screen.
     
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  8. OrangeJulius

    OrangeJulius Active Member Premium Member

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    Before I knew what I was getting into with PTSD this confused me SO MUCH.

    My honey described it as social media being a good mindless break from his brain.

    This used to drive me CRAZY! Still does....but I don't take it personal anymore now that he's explained it.
     
  9. Confused_84

    Confused_84 Member

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    My ex boyfriend with PTSD did the same thing. He would be on his phone 24/7 but couldn’t seem to call me or text me back. It is part of what led me to breaking up with him. It was really frustrating as we lived 2 hours apart. The more I pushed him for communication the more distant he became. I thought he was cheating on me because of his lack of communication. I tried explaining to him how not being in contact with me upset me but he said I was being needy and dramatic. He has now cut off all communication with me. It is the most bizarre thing I have ever gone through.
     
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  10. master z

    master z Member

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    Thank you for your story. It gives me more motivation to back off and give space for a time being

    I know how you feel and it sucks
     
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  11. master z

    master z Member

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    @Confused_84 i use this forum as a learning experience. Wasn't meant to shame you or make you feel bad.

    The setup of this site can be confusing for both supporters and suffers. With that said supporters go through their unique anxiety and stress. Hope everyone can help each other judgement free
     
  12. Confused_84

    Confused_84 Member

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    I didn’t take it as shaming. I wish I would have found this forum sooner so I would have known how to react, but I have found this forum comforting knowing that I am not the only person experiencing this.
     
  13. Pippi427

    Pippi427 Active Member

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    I know my sufferer will log into LinkedIn when he's isolating. I actually encourage this so he can maintain a network. It seems to be a low-effort way to provide a bit of stimulation outside not leaving his apartment all day. Maybe think of it that way? Low-effort interaction as a prosthetic for real human interaction? The last thing I would do is get offended and make a big deal about it.
     
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