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Socialising incrediably uncomfortable & scary?

Discussion in 'Avoidance' started by Ryanna, May 4, 2018.

  1. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

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    Am I the only one that finds social situations incredibly uncomfortable and scary? I sit there worrying about trusting people again, allowing them to get to know me... because well, the last time I did that my abuse began. I know I need to get better at this in order to make friends but I find myself getting super anxious and on the edge in most social situations, I can’t be myself and I’ll do anything I can to make myself invisible and to hide in the corner. Does anyone else do this? Or have advice on how to stop doing this?
     
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  3. Angelwings

    Angelwings Well-Known Member

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    I do this. I isolate myself. In social situations, like gatherings at my son's school, I sit there saying nothing and trying to be invisible. I don't trust people and I'm also worried that if I do say something I'll sound stupid or crazy. You are NOT alone in this at all.
     
  4. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    I'm the one standing against the wall - with my service dog in front of me, watching everyone who walks by and trying to figure out how big of a threat they are. If you approach me I'm all sorts of friendly and pleasant to talk to -- As I think of 100 different ways to fight to get away from you.
     
    Sietz, Still Standing, Ryanna and 3 others like this.
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    So this is more of an Avoidance issue for you, then an anxiety issue, you think? Your mind has made a connection between socializing and being sexually assaulted, so it feels like if you avoid socializing, you’ll avoid being sexually assaulted?
     
  6. Ahhlia

    Ahhlia Member

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    I was anti social. Go to camping trips by myself and going to varies of events in town. I could easily call a friend but I don't. It got worse after my trauma event. I huddle downinthe house. I have not called friends... I just let them fade away. I am also the distant one in the family. Trust is a big thing.. and just seems I can not trust anyone including doctors.

    My social anxiety effects my life. Like when I go grocery shopping I try to avoid people or isles with people even if I need something in that isle.
    You are not alone... welcome to the club.
     
    Freida, Still Standing and Ryanna like this.
  7. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

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    I hope you manage to eventually open up to someone

    Thank you, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2018
    Freida, Still Standing and Angelwings like this.
  8. Still Standing

    Still Standing I'm a VIP

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    Yup!! I do not like social settings beyond family and friends...and even then, the group mentality can be intimidating. Hubby is a social person and everyone is his friend. For me everyone is an enemy and is not my friend. He mingles and I hide...sometimes literally!!! It has been a source of contention many times in our married life. Like Freida, I act funny, friendly, and interested toward others but once I can make an escape, I emotionally collapse and feel absolutely drained. I often times feel like a fraud because, others see me as their "friend". They don't know that I am scared of them and have no intentions of letting them get real close to me. The older I get, the less I want to mess with social obligations like weddings, graduations, church functions, friends' social gahterings, fairs, etc. I like my safe place...my house.
     
    Sietz and Freida like this.
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