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Socialising incrediably uncomfortable & scary?

Discussion in 'Avoidance' started by Ryanna, May 4, 2018.

  1. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

    Am I the only one that finds social situations incredibly uncomfortable and scary? I sit there worrying about trusting people again, allowing them to get to know me... because well, the last time I did that my abuse began. I know I need to get better at this in order to make friends but I find myself getting super anxious and on the edge in most social situations, I can’t be myself and I’ll do anything I can to make myself invisible and to hide in the corner. Does anyone else do this? Or have advice on how to stop doing this?
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  3. Angelwings

    Angelwings Well-Known Member

    I do this. I isolate myself. In social situations, like gatherings at my son's school, I sit there saying nothing and trying to be invisible. I don't trust people and I'm also worried that if I do say something I'll sound stupid or crazy. You are NOT alone in this at all.
  4. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    I'm the one standing against the wall - with my service dog in front of me, watching everyone who walks by and trying to figure out how big of a threat they are. If you approach me I'm all sorts of friendly and pleasant to talk to -- As I think of 100 different ways to fight to get away from you.
    Sietz, Still Standing, Ryanna and 3 others like this.
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    So this is more of an Avoidance issue for you, then an anxiety issue, you think? Your mind has made a connection between socializing and being sexually assaulted, so it feels like if you avoid socializing, you’ll avoid being sexually assaulted?
  6. Ahhlia

    Ahhlia Member

    I was anti social. Go to camping trips by myself and going to varies of events in town. I could easily call a friend but I don't. It got worse after my trauma event. I huddle downinthe house. I have not called friends... I just let them fade away. I am also the distant one in the family. Trust is a big thing.. and just seems I can not trust anyone including doctors.

    My social anxiety effects my life. Like when I go grocery shopping I try to avoid people or isles with people even if I need something in that isle.
    You are not alone... welcome to the club.
    Freida, Still Standing and Ryanna like this.
  7. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

    I hope you manage to eventually open up to someone

    Thank you, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2018
    Freida, Still Standing and Angelwings like this.
  8. Still Standing

    Still Standing I'm a VIP

    Yup!! I do not like social settings beyond family and friends...and even then, the group mentality can be intimidating. Hubby is a social person and everyone is his friend. For me everyone is an enemy and is not my friend. He mingles and I hide...sometimes literally!!! It has been a source of contention many times in our married life. Like Freida, I act funny, friendly, and interested toward others but once I can make an escape, I emotionally collapse and feel absolutely drained. I often times feel like a fraud because, others see me as their "friend". They don't know that I am scared of them and have no intentions of letting them get real close to me. The older I get, the less I want to mess with social obligations like weddings, graduations, church functions, friends' social gahterings, fairs, etc. I like my safe place...my house.
    Sietz and Freida like this.
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