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Solicitors, religious, politics - they knock on my door and I go full rage mode.

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I have clearly displayed "No soliciting, no politics, no religion" signs at the entry to my driveway and again near my front door.

If the door rings, I at least see who it is first. Friends, family, delivery, even neighbors looking for their cat - all get a friendly greeting and a "welcome in"

The instant I realize it is some sort of solicitation - rage mode happens. I demand to know if they are literate and start chasing them off my porch and property. I do not want them anywhere near me or my home. I just don't want to be bothered at all.

This even happens if someone calls - once I figure out they are someone I don't want to talk to, I get VERY mad and start in with extreme verbal abuse toward them.

I have had bad experiences with door-knockers before, including one who tried to push is way into my house before I literally grabbed a broom handle and used it to ensure they left quickly with something to remember the encounter. There was another religious solicitor that sat on my porch after being told to go away, and remained there until the police arrived and arrested them.

But that rage at solicitors - I am not sure what truly sets it off. I don't feel calm when it's over, I generally am wound up for hours after and self-isolate so as not to go off on my wife or daughter undeservedly.

Perhaps it's a "safe" place to vent PTSD rage and anger from childhood abuse that I could never respond to. After all, they won't come back to the house, they won't call after I am done verbally ripping them apart on the phone, they just think I am another jerk.

Still - it frightens my wife who is a domestic abuse survivor herself. And it's ultimately not good for me or those that live with me.
 
Could you just hang up, once you have picked up the phone? Or close the door, or turn and walk away? (Without giving yourself the space to take that reaction out at them.)
 
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Doorknockers and telemarketers. Universally annoying!

But getting angry about it isn’t helpful for me. I handle both the same: “No thanks”, close the door, hang up the phone, move on with my life. Zero distress involved.
 
Could you just hang up, once you have picked up the phone? Or close the door, or turn and walk away? (Without giving yourself the space to take that reaction out at them.)
I have tried the "No thanks and hang up" approach. This resulted in my phone getting called at least once every 30 minutes for the remainder of the day until I allowed myself to rage enough to get the person on the other end into tears.

Door-knockers have tried to push their way in after being told to go away.

Though I have plenty of other issues - I immediately see these things as threats and kind of choose to go immediately to hostility.
 
I get that you've had bad experiences with them in the past, but you say it badly effects your wife cos of the anger thing, what do you think would stop you choosing to react this way? Like, for me, I find it annoying, but I've done door to door sales as a job, so sometimes people are just doing what they gotta do to get by and that helps me speak to them calmly, although in fairness, nobody has been as pushy with me as with you. I don't know you so I'm not sure what to suggest, but I get from your first post that you don't -want- to react this way, so what would help?
 
This resulted in my phone getting called at least once every 30 minutes for the remainder of the day until I allowed myself to rage enough to get the person on the other end into tears.
Sounds like a pretty dreadful experience for both involved. “Tried it once...” though? Hardly a reason to engage in something that distresses you. These people are a fact of life.

Routinely blocking the number once you hang up seems to help.
 
Screen all calls.

Ignore knocks at the door unless they give you a secret knock.

My boyfriend has a unique knock so that I know it’s him and answer the door, as opposed to the delivery guy. I live in a secured building so that eliminates solicitors and such.
 
Just as I don't answer the phone, I don't answer the door if I am not expecting someone. I spend a lot of time in my pajama's when Im not expecting anyone. Last Christmas some neighbors with small children rang the bell during dinner (Im in pj's) and they sang to us and gave us a card and some chocolates. This year I realized and didn't answer. Im going to ask one of the moms to let me know in the future when they are coming because I would like to have something for the children, but don't want to be caught in my pajamas with my dog barking in the middle of dinner.
 
I think my crux is this - I cannot ignore that someone is at my door. My ADD functions much like a lack of ability to filter out what is around me. So if someone is knocking on my door, I am incapable of ignoring it. It's unwanted stimulus and interrupts whatever else I was doing.
Blocking solicitor numbers does not generally help these days as they often use banks of disposable Google phone or spoof the caller ID. I have signed up for "National No-call" and NoMoRobo - which keeps callers to a minimum.
But someone at my door - cannot so easily be ignored at least by me.
At the very least I want to be able to consistently muster a "no thanks, we are done" and give them the opportunity to walk away.
 
So why are you posting?

You’ve been given plenty of good advice, but respond with excuses as to why you have to answer the door or answer the phone.

Work on your ADD. Get control of your symptoms and stop making excuses as to why you have to engage with these people.
 
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