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Somatic therapy experience hanging out with my child self

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Ladygdala

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So I guess I have two questions..
I started somatic mindfulness work a few months ago. Not sure if they have been doing anything really but she reassures me that there’s a lot going on subconsciously still even after the session is complete. I am literally just keeping up with anything that I think may be good for me. But this last session was so very vivid and clear. Prior to my session, I had an experience out at a hiking trail with a good friend. We skipped the gym that day due to nice weather and went to the hiking spot that is my favorite and basically a second home, so I was able to be more “myself” I guess. It was just us there, I dislike busyness. We started doing stair steps on the picnic benches as if we were at the gym and I felt like I was my child self doing things I felt like doing because I could. I just let go of restraints and did whatever even if it probably looked weird. It was a great feeling but also dissociating. it felt like I could be a parent one day. It was magical and I felt like maybe this is what parents feel like when they just look at their child with such pride and happiness in doing whatever the feel. I wrote about it because it just felt so memorable to have such a break through feeling. So when I went to therapy that coming Monday I told my therapist of it and she suggested we do mindfulness (somatic experiencing) around that day. Nearly right away I was able to see my child self playing and doing the same actions as I was doing out with my friend those few days before. (with my eyes closed sort of visualizing) but it was like a memory or dream, like I wasn’t trying to control it, I was just trying to stay with it. It was like I was hypnotized but still aware. My child self would play and I would follow. Looking after her and I was so proud of her. Like I was ready to be a mother which is not something I am consciously ready for. She showed me a house I grew up in. One where things happened in that were uncomfortable but I don’t really remember them. She led me to the woods in front of my old house where I used to play. Then I started floating away from her. Like We were done hanging out.
Has anyone had similar experience like this? Is this where or how my memories may come to light? Or am I being a little too imaginative?
It was such a wonderful feeling to have connected with my younger self like that. I never thought I’d enjoy having children, it just seems like a hurtful experience. Children get hurt and I don’t think I could handle knowing that as an adult.

Also, I get tension headaches and they worsen when I’m stressed. After the session they seemed to be back. But something else I noticed is that they are triggered by the sunlight.. anyone have this or have any suggestions that they use that helps?
 
No suggestions other than bottle the moment, which you seem to be doing. Good luck, though. It sounds really healing.
 
No suggestions other than bottle the moment, which you seem to be doing. Good luck, though. It sounds rea...
Thank you, yes I’m feeling very positive about it. But also drained after all that. Did you have any moments in your recovery that were exceptionally healing or moments where you felt you were on the positive side of healing? Where you felt a glimpse of what it feels like to be healed?
 
Yes, it is a shift in how we perceive our self in our life. I smiled the whole time I was reading your share about playing with your little. That is one of the most beautiful shares I've read , the joy, the freedom, just being alive... so happy you had that huge glimmer of hope.

That's always what I thought when I would have times like you shared about. Whether with my little or doing something that used to paralyze me... hope... showing me how it can be...

Thank you for sharing about spending time with your little, made my day... hope things continue to get better and better for you. If things get bad, remember that day.... and don't forget to hope.
 
Yes, it is a shift in how we perceive our self in our life. I smiled the whole time I was reading your sh...
Thank you so much!! I definitely won’t ever forget about it. I hope to have more moments like this. I’m so very happy to hear this made you smile!! I am going to continue working towards bringing my inner child out. Such a very positive emotional feeling. A moment frozen in time. Prior to that, I watched shows that I used to watch when I was young, spontaneously chose to go for a hike and just did things within moment. My Mind is only allowing so much to go through it right now so I just allowed it to be “young” again. And this beautiful outcome happened. Easier said than done but yea, I think it started with a few episodes of Beetlejuice cartoons, Ren and stimpy and just remembering what I had found fun and comforting as a child and I guess she was comfortable coming forth. I recommend it!
 
Sometimes we aren't clear why we do things... but it usually leads to a breakthru or shift... and yes, a moment frozen in time... and many many more to come... Dance like no one is watching !!! Our little's are such precious innocents that lend a tremendous bridge to our healing...

Very happy you are encouraging your little to just fly.... love it!!! Tender hugs to your little if they allow it... if not, save it for later...
 
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