Speak softly so I can stay here.


New Here
I read a journal of page and I know I wrote it. I remember the incident while I read it. I didn't remember it until I read it but it's my handwriting. I know it happened and then I don't remember it again. I keep my texts so I can remember. I love my family and friends so I don't want to forget anything about them. I accidentally broke my phone. I grieve that, quietly, secretly because I don't want my lived ones to know I don't remember.

I am for ever analyzing what's being said. How I am being summed up. When the slightest hint of anger, hatred, criticism, arises I leave. When I am gone I am being somebody. Someone great. Being an astounding hero.

The only way I stay is working. I work.and work and work.


Hi, @J M, and welcome to the forums :)

Just to clarify: Would you say that this memory issue you're experiencing is from trauma?

I understand wanting to remember everything. I have shoeboxes of notes from my ex that are just reasons that prove that she was mistreating me. I screenshot texts frequently and purposefully spend time committing fun days to memory in hopes that I'll remember them on the worst days.

Are you in therapy?

Welcome to your trauma diary, by the way :) This is a very good start.