1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

Stalking victims

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by SomeoneFemale, Dec 10, 2017.

  1. SomeoneFemale

    SomeoneFemale Member

    30
    54
    18
    I've had two stalkers. Psycho and the Wolf.

    When I was 18 I dated a guy for 8 months, and he physically stalked me for 3+ years, and he occasionally finds me online for example on Pandora Radio (of all places). The last time he found me that I know of was 2014, making it 16 years at that time. If he is still stalking me it has been 19 years now. I nicknamed him Psycho when we broke up in 1999. He was always covert, watching me from afar so I don't know. I knew he stalked me the three years during the restraining order because his ex-fiance found me and let me know he was sitting outside of my work watching. I moved and changed jobs. That was in 2002. Since then as far as I know for sure it's been online, but there is circumstantial evidence that it may have remained a physical endeavor.

    Then there is the Wolf. He is the one with all the power. He is the one who may be reading these words right now and smiling his sh*te eating grin to see me write them. I met him at University and we had a 5 month "friendship" that was actually an emotional affair (I didn't know the definition of emotional affair until much later). I fell for him, so I ended the friendship.

    Well, he'd already been odd the entire time. We rode the same train between home and school, and he'd come sit two seats away from me and I'd call him over from there. He also always made a point to share private details of his life I didn't ask for, like his home address and class schedule. However not share his telephone or social media. He continued to sit two seats away from me after we stopped talking. He started showing up everywhere I was on campus once to several times per week, sometimes passing me by multiple times in minutes. It's such a long story, I can go into it in the comments, but this stuff went on for nearly two years. He was set to graduate one quarter before me and I was so happy I'd get to have a quarter of freedom from him.

    Nope: he got a job on campus, and I continued to see him, now in places where I'd change my route. I changed phones and combed the phone with a technician and still he always found me somehow and I will never understand how he could always know where I was. One day while he was still a student I saw him on a private road I took daily that I'd never seen him on before. As a result I snapped and started harassing him on twitter, and then by email. I did that for over a year, maybe close to a year and a half. Every time he'd pass by me I'd send him obnoxious messages that would drive normal people to dislike me.

    After I graduated I started seeing him at the grocery store or on the road. He would drive past me, how did he know where I even was? I had the mechanic check my car and they didn't find any trackers. He stalked me for 3 years, if he stopped. I stopped harassing him when I felt he'd lost interest in me, finally, nearly a year ago. I closed down nearly all my social media and only have Linkedin, youtube, and Google+ now. It's okay to say that because if he is still around he already knows.

    I take self defense and I want to start martial arts, that's to my stalkers credit, he pushed me into martial arts. He pushed me to accept I can be cruel and must fight to survive and must fight to keep others from trying to steal my dignity. The hippy died, and a warrior has been born in her place. A warrior who is good but not nice.

    I haven't seen him lately. But he is literally one circle of peers away from me. We are both resource scientists. I work with people he works with. It's so close that I know someday I am going to be forced to see that sh*te eating grin again as he stands proud and powerful and I act like I am going for an Emmy to not let on to my coworkers. I am not going to shake his hand. That day is going to come.

    I've kept a log of every incident in case I ever have real evidence to go to the police for a restraining order, but hopefully I don't need one anymore. I started keeping a log not long after I realized he was following me, and I back tracked it at that time to when we had first met so I could detail how strange he was from day one.
     
    Multitudes likes this.
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. SomeoneFemale

    SomeoneFemale Member

    30
    54
    18
    The Wolf also never called me by name, not a single time. Even when I'd say Hi Wolfy (real name changed to "protect" him?!), or "hey, wolfy want to sit here instead?" he wouldn't say my name. He'd pretend he didn't see me there, two seats away, what a surprise, he'd love to join me...
     
    Multitudes likes this.
  4. Multitudes

    Multitudes Active Member

    203
    428
    203
    OMG! To actually see them everywhere you go, I cannot imagine, and I am so sorry!
    I have a little knowledge of this issue from the other side - professionals who 'police' online stalking.. it is an awfully difficult form of harassment to prove, even as laws are being formed to do just that.

    My abusive partner of 23 years stalked me for a further 5 after she ejected me for a fresher model, irl via family, friends, our kids, and online, before she finally died!
    I still see her about, though, unexpectedly and always with virtually incapacitating shock.. I know she's an hallucination, but that doesn't stop the shaking and crying, the overwhelming need to escape.

    I only wish I could give you peace.
     
  5. SomeoneFemale

    SomeoneFemale Member

    30
    54
    18
    She died, like she actually passed away from this life? I'm sorry you still see her and still have the same feelings as if she were alive. For a short time in 2007 ish I thought my first stalker was dead (I didn't have the second stalker until 2013) and it was the most free feeling I had but then I found out that was a lie and he was alive.

    When he looked me up on Pandora I was in the middle of the other stalker situation, but I was at the stage where I was still trying to determine if the wolf was following me or if it was in my head because I had been attracted to him. I trembled and shook with fear and closed all my window blinds, which my therapist had got me to start opening only months before. So I keep my blinds closed to this day except in the kitchen, that's my free to be watched zone. I get open windows, nosy people get a lesson on how to do your dishes after you've left them aside for a week. I am upstairs though, always, because I always feel safer on the second floor than I would on the ground floor.

    I can't imagine what it's like to be betrayed by someone you've been with for 25 years, have your best friend become your predator instead. I feel like I find peace when ever I am convinced the stalking is over, which right now I am because I haven't had a verifiable incident in a while. I don't know how to advise a wish for you to find peace also, because she was such a part of your life before she changed.


    23*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2017
    Multitudes likes this.
  6. Multitudes

    Multitudes Active Member

    203
    428
    203
    Nothing to worry about at all , my end - I know what's happening, so that's okay-ish.
    We weren't companions, believe me, but thank you, you get it - it was a betrayal.

    Feeling that your home isn't a safe place is horrible.
    Mine has only become a hideyhole recently and I hope you have similar, soon!

    I read that you're away right now - how is it going, how do you feel?
     
  7. SomeoneFemale

    SomeoneFemale Member

    30
    54
    18
    Oh I am sorry I somehow wasn't clear. I am home and I do feel safe at home now, because I think the stalking is over because I haven't had an incident in many months.
     
    Multitudes likes this.
  8. SomeoneFemale

    SomeoneFemale Member

    30
    54
    18
    Ah it was my last apartment where I had CCTV and felt unsafe. Now I have an upstairs flat in a house and two large dogs. I feel safer but sometimes I fear for my dogs so I box them in kennels in my room when I leave the house so they will also be safe.
     
    Multitudes likes this.
Loading...
Similar Threads -
Show Sidebar