I'm scared they'll tell my parents.... If my parents find out - I... It's not worth it for meLots of us here have had those experiences of denial and numbness. I know exactly what you mean that you can only feel when you see one of your friends in trouble. And lots of us struggle with admitting how we feel to our therapists. You're not alone.
You can print out your post and give it to them in your session? I know it's really hard thing to do. It's worth it to keep trying to tell them. If you fear they wouldn't take you seriously, then you start with that.
For coping skills, some people have success imagining a safe place, or if no place is safe, then a place that is "safer". It seems like a simple thing, but it can be very helpful.
Another coping skill is C.A.R.E.S.S.:
C.A.: communicate alternatively. That means don't write or talk, but express how you feel by smashing clay, or drawing with marker and crayons, or something like that.
R.E.: release endorphins. Vigorous exercise of any kind, so that your natural endorphins will kick in.
S.S.: self-soothe. Curl up in a blanket, have something yummy to eat or drink, find your favorite pet or stuffed animal.
Thank you! C.A.R.E.S.S sounds like a good coping skill.