Relationship Struggling here

jenjak99

New Here
Hey all, it's me again...already. Im really struggling here and i feel like i have no one to talk to. I just made my first post a couple days ago and i dont want to repeat my whole story...rather...id like tonask some follow ups.
After learning many things from these threads i had a change of heart of how i have been viewing my vet...from some jerk who was not meeting my needs and couldnt get his thoughts together because of substance abuse to a man who is struggling right now who i have been burdening with my problems on top of his own who did the best he could to help me until he just couldn't anymore.

Once i realized this i reached out to him, after 5 days of giving him his "space" and just told him i hope im not bothering him, im thinking about him. He didnt respond. Yesterday i sent a more "normal" text, about how my manager is off, the new mouse i bought, and how id probably be taking the rest of the nite off to go out and how i had no hatred for him. I didnt really expect a response but to my surprise i got one. He said "hello. I also have no hard feelings. Ive been feeling crappy, not sure if ill go out tonite or not". I was excited, told him where id be going, that id love to see him, told him he's welcome to join and if he wants me to join him to let me know. I got nothing after that (and of course didnt see him).

Tonite i went out myself, to the place he'd always meet me on Fridays. Both of his 2 friends he ways hangs out with were there. I went to the one, said hello, asked how (my guy) was doing. His friend was quite odd, not warm and open to me as his friends usually are, said (my guy was okay, that he was texting him at that moment, he was down the street but that he wont tell him that he ran into me I said i was glad to hear he was well and told him to tell (my guy) that i am here and that id like to see him. His friends left shortly after, presumably to go join him. Devastated, i had to be scooped up by my friends and went to their houses (i should add that simultaneously my sister was in the ER and i was notified that my brother had been arrested...totally different subjects but just adding that to show why im in such meltdown mode).

Id like to know...am i coming on too strong? Did i get too excited to finally get a response? I want him to know that i care enuf to try to learn about where he's coming from and to apologize for misreading his behavior the last couple of weeks and im frustrated that i cant express this but at the same time dont want to smother him. I also want to know if this is PTSD behavior or just general asshole behavior?

Thoughts welcome please!
 

caroline_13

Confident
Hi jenjak99,

Welcome.

I didn't read your initial post: just the one above.

I would say, from the top of my head, let him reach out to you now. You've let him know you care.

Time will tell if it's asshole behavior or something else. Hard to know at this point.

Take care of yourself.
 

jenjak99

New Here
Hi jenjak99,

Welcome.

I didn't read your initial post: just the one above.

I would say, from the top of my head, let him reach out to you now. You've let him know you care.

Time will tell if it's asshole behavior or something else. Hard to know at this point.

Take care of yourself.
I have set a date on my calendar 1 week from last nite. It reads on my calendar "you are single". If i have not heard from him wanting to resolve this in 1 week, after only hearing from him once last week, i think that should be sufficient. Now to learn to slap my hands if i am tempted to text before then...
 
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