Struggling with chores

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coraxxx

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Hi there I guess this is a very widespread problem.

I have really a hard time starting chores and recently it's gone worse; not only it's hard starting but it's hard continuing. Previously I could wait for starting and would do everything for the next hours, but now I just wash one miserable pot and feel compelled to go back to bed.

This happens even though I'm in a good mood or actually wanting to clean and bear with me, I find it quite pleasurable. I like to wash clean and do stuff right, I'd like to understand why it seems that an external force is pushing me back to bed.

I get agitated and dizzy and feel like I have to go back to bed. Not as much as I have a sense of impending doom or anything, there are no feelings in particular out of "I really want to do this thing but I really cannot right now, back to the duvet I go."

Then obviously in bed I keep fighting to manage to get out.

I know this week has been very draining for me for various reasons but I'm tired to struggle with this issue since ever. I have had a lot of bad experiences with cleaning (aka being used as a mini house slave and after at my evil ex being yelled at and threatened for not being a raging Cleaning Maniac like he was, while myself being super depressed and barely living).

But I don't feel like I'm even clearly associating that in my head when I struggle. I'm assuming it has something to do with that. I guess I just freeze then find myself back in bed and be like ffs not again!!

And it extends to everything. I struggle doing chores that I know last 5 minutes and will make me feel much better. It's as if as a part of me does actually want to sit in filth like a raccoon on the top of a garbage bin.

It's maddening.

What are your cleaning hacks to tame the inner raccoon?
 
Laughing at inner raccoon. I can so relate.

I'm glad you wrote it out...it does feel like a dizzying strong force to go to bed sometimes for me too! So strange.

I think our brains are too tired.

Ideas:
-I move on to something different for the time being.
-exercise first, get blood pumping
-check posture, am I slouchy?
-am I dressed comfortable?
-do I need something? Food, water, wash my face, do my hair. Etc.
-music motivates me to clean, and so does my aromatherapy essential oil diffuser.


Following thread. ❤️
 
I think you're on something about the things that help you get on with it right away. The more I land in bed and feel bad the worse it gets.

Like I'm backhandedly complicating things for myself because adding more prep steps necessary to start.

For today what I found out:

- having good cleaning paraphernalia that allow me to go in and out by small steps (like having throwaway sweeps instead of having stuff that force me to clean the things and clean myself, I know it's not ecological but I guess at that level it's literally an accomodation for a type of disabling)

- put on rubber gloves on the raccoon, aka having a cleaning uniform or nice stay at home clothes that aren't fully dressed but also not full on pajamas

- be okay with doing stuff by very small bits and allowing myself to do other things in the middle

- rest often

- the radio

I like the ideas of oils and incense diffusers. Can't use it too much because of the cat but nice smells do a lot for me to feel quieter and safe.

Really curious to read everyone's tips.
 
to tame the inner racoon? ? ? hm-m-m-m. . . racoons are actually some of the cleaner animals in nature. possibly even cleaner than the cats they chase out of the trash cans on their raids. oopsie. . . am i going off-topic with my animal trivia again? i do that allot. i loves my critters, both wild and domestic.

as for the housekeeping psycho tick, i'm not a clean freak, but i do like my house well-ordered. like you, i find doing my chores to be a grounding, meditative pass time. when i can't seem to muster the interest in keeping up, i take it as a symptom of needing to make small changes in my life. the extra time resting gives the needed change more opportunity to bubble to the surface. i remind myself often that rest is a productive activity and let myself go for it. when the changes i need to make bubble to the surface, i typically find my energy levels amped and ready from all the extra rest.

but that is me. . .

steadying support while you find what is right for you. be gentle with yourself and patient with the process.
 
I know this week has been very draining for me for various reasons but I'm tired to struggle with this issue since ever. I


ya....funny but I'm in this same boat. I've always had a clean house, no matter how busy I am or how tired/pain/blahblah

But this last couple months it seems like I've lost all interest in it. I want to just stay in bed. Totally out of character.
So T and I talked about my brain and body telling me to give myself a break because I've been under so much pressure for so long. It's me realizing it's ok for things to be messy. It's not the end of the world if I haven't vacuumed or dusted this week. It won't make me a failure, because I just need to rest.

So I'm giving it a shot - to see what might happen if I hang out in bed or on the couch and read a book or play video games or what not. I'm letting other stuff go - just to see what happens. dishes in the sink? check. dust on the furniture? check. house needs a vacuum? yep.

Sofar? It's been a good exercise in "omg dooooommmmmmm will prevail LOL" It's been a reminder of what happens when I honor my limitations instead of trying to push thru them - if that makes sense? And it's also a reminder that I don't have to be perfect.... sometimes it's ok to just tune it all out. She says if it goes on for months there might be a problem, but right now it's more along the lines of just ignoring adulting for a couple weeks.
 
racoons are actually some of the cleaner animals in nature.
Oh yes, as many animals! they’re also so clean they can afford living in trash bins. In French they’re called washing rats 😂

I’m actually pretty clean myself, I don’t struggle much with having a bath or a shower lol, but that doesn’t extend to the rest of the house unfortunately. So I feel quite raccoony haha

the extra time resting gives the needed change more opportunity to bubble to the surface. i remind myself often that rest is a productive activity and let myself go for it. when the changes i need to make bubble to the surface, i typically find my energy levels amped and ready from all the extra rest.
Yeah, I relate to that. I try to remind that to myself and just accept that there are days that just are low functioning and that the best I can do is to try to sleep. It’s just hard to do all that while also working and having to develop a personal project and look for work and all and all... My friends seem to think my place still is well kept, despite the big amount of cardboard boxes.

It's been a good exercise in "omg dooooommmmmmm will prevail LOL" It's been a reminder of what happens when I honor my limitations instead of trying to push thru them - if that makes sense?
With both your messages I realise how my message actually does give off the vibe of feeling guilty about it, more than the filthiness being a firm concern. Objectively, stuff isn’t too bad over here. It could be a bit tidier and welcoming, but overall it’s alrighty. It might really be a leftover from having been absurdely persecuted to have impeccable environments, and I’ve never been a house fairy that’s the least one can say lmao.

I do like to clean perfectly though, but I like to do it in workshops. I used to deep clean everything with the chemicals, it was very satisfying to do it regularly and also to impeccably clean my spot in the studios and all the racks and frames etc etc... So I’m quite fond actually of cleaning what’s generally the most annoying for people, like the bathrooms and the kitchen.

Points I struggle the most is the laundry and my room I think. Places that are supposed to be comforting, I struggle with. I struggle to inhabit them, I struggle to maintain clothes and beds clean.

I guess in the back of all that there is a tendency of putting obstacles on achieving the things I want to achieve... Like putting trash on the way of what would be good for me, out of fear of change?
 
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