EveHarrington
MyPTSD Pro
That was a shitty title.
I had psychosis during a suicide attempt a few years ago. Yeah, that was hell. Anyway, when people do things which are akin to mindf*ckery ie similar to gaslighting, my brain goes crazy and I disregulate.
This likely sounds hella dumb to everyone but I assure you I’m struggling.
I’m going to be vague for privacy reasons.
I’ve known this person my whole life. They’ve always made a HUGE deal out of supporting and being involved in XYZ cause. Ok, no big deal, that’s her thing. So along comes me and notifies her about something related, and the instant response is that I’m lying and perpetuating urban legends. Only, I’m not, not in the least. Hell, I provided her with links regarding the actual government legislation regarding this issue, even before she accused me of spreading lies. Like, hello, how am I lying when there is current active legislation regarding this issue and it was literally in the legislature just a few days ago?! I sent video about testimony! But, I digress.
So, like, how the hell do you make this advocacy a huge part of your life and then turn around and call me a liar when I come to you to tell you about an issue in this realm that *should* be of concern to you, that is if you’re not a big fat phoney?
But wait, you just outed yourself as a big fat phoney. Nice try with the attempts to turn this around on me and call me a liar when I have resources GALORE to back up what I’m saying.
So the tldr of this is that someone I have literally known since birth has shown herself to not only NOT be who she claims to be, but has also twisted the narrative as to make me feel like a liar by accusing me of spreading lies. I have the proof that this is real, and I’m not spreading rumors, but my dissociative brain doesn’t care about that.
And no, I’m not talking about inconsequential legislation. It’s a serious matter, which is part of why this is distressing to me.
So the person is gone. That’s a no brainer. We weren’t close so it’s not a huge deal or anything.
I’m just really struggling here because these kind of mind games where people twist the narrative to make me doubt the truth feels SO MUCH like psychosis (and the aftermath) to me.
This dissociation is different to me. It’s not my normal “cloud” dissociation. This is the kind of dissociation that pushes me into the realm of doubting reality, and questioning what is real.
I’m just looking for anything that could help. I’m trying to remind myself that I have proof of what’s real, but it’s not fixing the issue.
Thanks.
I had psychosis during a suicide attempt a few years ago. Yeah, that was hell. Anyway, when people do things which are akin to mindf*ckery ie similar to gaslighting, my brain goes crazy and I disregulate.
This likely sounds hella dumb to everyone but I assure you I’m struggling.
I’m going to be vague for privacy reasons.
I’ve known this person my whole life. They’ve always made a HUGE deal out of supporting and being involved in XYZ cause. Ok, no big deal, that’s her thing. So along comes me and notifies her about something related, and the instant response is that I’m lying and perpetuating urban legends. Only, I’m not, not in the least. Hell, I provided her with links regarding the actual government legislation regarding this issue, even before she accused me of spreading lies. Like, hello, how am I lying when there is current active legislation regarding this issue and it was literally in the legislature just a few days ago?! I sent video about testimony! But, I digress.
So, like, how the hell do you make this advocacy a huge part of your life and then turn around and call me a liar when I come to you to tell you about an issue in this realm that *should* be of concern to you, that is if you’re not a big fat phoney?
But wait, you just outed yourself as a big fat phoney. Nice try with the attempts to turn this around on me and call me a liar when I have resources GALORE to back up what I’m saying.
So the tldr of this is that someone I have literally known since birth has shown herself to not only NOT be who she claims to be, but has also twisted the narrative as to make me feel like a liar by accusing me of spreading lies. I have the proof that this is real, and I’m not spreading rumors, but my dissociative brain doesn’t care about that.
And no, I’m not talking about inconsequential legislation. It’s a serious matter, which is part of why this is distressing to me.
So the person is gone. That’s a no brainer. We weren’t close so it’s not a huge deal or anything.
I’m just really struggling here because these kind of mind games where people twist the narrative to make me doubt the truth feels SO MUCH like psychosis (and the aftermath) to me.
This dissociation is different to me. It’s not my normal “cloud” dissociation. This is the kind of dissociation that pushes me into the realm of doubting reality, and questioning what is real.
I’m just looking for anything that could help. I’m trying to remind myself that I have proof of what’s real, but it’s not fixing the issue.
Thanks.