• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Undiagnosed Struggling with memories from the past, could this be ptsd?

Status
Not open for further replies.

sara2998

New Here
Hi, I don't really know where to begin but I like lists so I'll try to list my symptoms and then where I think this issue started from.

- Symptoms: I have had recurring nightmares + sleep paralysis for years and the common theme is that someone is always in the room with me stopping me from leaving and that no one can hear me when I call out for help. When this happens it's literally like I prepare myself for someone harming me/ killing me, like I tell myself that its going to happen.

- What triggered me to remember my past memories: Earlier on the year I went through an incredibly stressful time with exams and schoolwork and long story short I was diagnosed with stress induced psychosis. Since then my nightmares and anxiety have been getting so much worse so I decided to just sit down and sort of have a conversation with my brain to try and understand why i'm feeling the way that I am.

- What I remember to have freaked me out as a kid: When I was 6-7 years old I went to a friends house after school and she had 2 older brothers. We were in her room when they walked in naked and started dancing and shouting. The next thing I remember is being locked in their room with my friend and they were playing incredibly loud music and shouting super loudly, I have no recollection of what they said. The one thing that sticks with me is how my friend reacted, she was screaming and banging on the door for her mum. Ive never heard anyone scream like that before. I was frozen and incredibly scared. The next thing I remember is calling my mum to tell her I didn't want to stay longer and to come and pick me up.

I have also realised that I never stay in a room with a guy if the door is closed, I literally have a panic attack if this happens. I also play this game in my head where I try to predict peoples actions and if I get it wrong I get so angry at myself.

I guess my question is could this all be happening because of what happened in my past? is it even possible to have long lasting trauma/ ptsd from something like this?

Honestly this question is why I haven't reached out to a therapist yet because I feel like I'm being overdramatic.
 
I guess my question is could this all be happening because of what happened in my past?
Absolutely.

is it even possible to have long lasting trauma/ ptsd from something like this?
Nope.

There are a lot of other disorders caused/triggered/exacerbated by all kinds of things, that are not the kind of trauma specific to PTSD. For example, the stress induced psychosis you had earlier this past year can be stand alone, or it can be GAD, Panic Disorder, Auditory Processing Disorder, Specific Phobia, half a dozen other disorders… exacerbated by stress, sleep dep, etc., until psychosis hits.

The kind of trauma necessary to cause PTSD? Actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:
  1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s),
  2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others,
  3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent and accidental.
  4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).
Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure to electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless the exposure is work related.


Honestly this question is why I haven't reached out to a therapist yet because I feel like I'm being overdramatic.
People see therapists because they want help managing how GOOD their lives are (in order to maintain & better themselves & their lives) in addition to all manner of everything bad (from minor irritations of daily life, to severe lifelong disorders, to catastrophic events like brain injury or their children’s deaths).

So if someone can work with a therapist to maintain & better their amazing life? Having a psychotic episode following a long history of anxiety & sleep disturbance isn’t being dramatic. It’s seeking help wih a long history of anxiety, nightmares, & a recent psychotic episode.

Might you have PTSD from other trauma? Sure. Or you may be dealing with a far more serious disorder. Either way, working with someone to make your life better? Would a good thing.
 
Honestly this question is why I haven't reached out to a therapist yet because I feel like I'm being overdramatic.
Perhaps simplify things - try and take your head in the opposite direction of "worst case scenario", and ground yourself in what you do know.

You know you have panic attacks when you get trapped in a room with a male. So, start there. Ask for help with that specifically. See how it goes. It may improve your life immeasurably in a relatively short space of time getting on top of that symptom alone.

Once you've overcome that? Take it from there. Like @Friday said, it doesn't need to be worst-case-scenario to justify wanting to make your life liveable without panic attacks. Life doesn't need to be this difficult and distressing day to day. And that's an excellent reason to seek help.
 
Absolutely.


Nope.

There are a lot of other disorders caused/triggered/exacerbated by all kinds of things, that are not the kind of trauma specific to PTSD. For example, the stress induced psychosis you had earlier this past year can be stand alone, or it can be GAD, Panic Disorder, Auditory Processing Disorder, Specific Phobia, half a dozen other disorders… exacerbated by stress, sleep dep, etc., until psychosis hits.

The kind of trauma necessary to cause PTSD? Actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.





People see therapists because they want help managing how GOOD their lives are (in order to maintain & better themselves & their lives) in addition to all manner of everything bad (from minor irritations of daily life, to severe lifelong disorders, to catastrophic events like brain injury or their children’s deaths).

So if someone can work with a therapist to maintain & better their amazing life? Having a psychotic episode following a long history of anxiety & sleep disturbance isn’t being dramatic. It’s seeking help wih a long history of anxiety, nightmares, & a recent psychotic episode.

Might you have PTSD from other trauma? Sure. Or you may be dealing with a far more serious disorder. Either way, working with someone to make your life better? Would a good thing.
Perhaps simplify things - try and take your head in the opposite direction of "worst case scenario", and ground yourself in what you do know.

You know you have panic attacks when you get trapped in a room with a male. So, start there. Ask for help with that specifically. See how it goes. It may improve your life immeasurably in a relatively short space of time getting on top of that symptom alone.

Once you've overcome that? Take it from there. Like @Friday said, it doesn't need to be worst-case-scenario to justify wanting to make your life liveable without panic attacks. Life doesn't need to be this difficult and distressing day to day. And that's an excellent reason to seek help.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the advice. As an update I finally reached out for help and have been diagnosed with ptsd due to a traumatic event when I was a child. I just wanted to say to anyone else struggling with memories from their past, don't let anyone downplay what you have experienced and how it made you feel. A true expert will be able to help you through your feelings and memories and in time you will be able to place a lot more together in a way that makes sense, don't burden yourself with trying to organise all of your thoughts and feeling by yourself because trust me that takes so much energy and can leave you in a cycle of pain and confusion.

I have been through a course of cbt which has thankfully enabled me to separate my present life from the past and I even now have guy friends! Although I still suffer a lot with triggers and some days I have to really work hard to ground myself in the present, overall I feel like my world has grown a bit and I've pushed my shield out a bit further. I plan to continue with cbt and have been referred to start emdr therapy to hopefully help me to be myself a bit more and to understand and accept what I have been through so it doesn't have to be at the forefront of my mind anymore.

Best wishes and remember you are never alone and your feelings are always valid! :)
 
Hey, @sara2998 - just wanted to thank you for coming back and posting this ^^^. The parts I've bolded especially bear repeating.
As an update I finally reached out for help and have been diagnosed with ptsd due to a traumatic event when I was a child. I just wanted to say to anyone else struggling with memories from their past, don't let anyone downplay what you have experienced and how it made you feel. A true expert will be able to help you through your feelings and memories and in time you will be able to place a lot more together in a way that makes sense, don't burden yourself with trying to organise all of your thoughts and feeling by yourself because trust me that takes so much energy and can leave you in a cycle of pain and confusion.
We see a lot of people come to this site with partial memories and present-day problems, trying to connect their own dots about where the problems are sourcing from. Often, they grab onto something in their past that they have unresolved feelings about. Then, they try and analyze their own experience, often through whatever framework that has struck a chord for them.

Sometimes they end up completely dismissing or burying other events and other factors (genetics, related medical conditions) that might be extremely relevant - or, unconsciously learning to minimize some symptoms and hyper-focus on others.

When that goes on for too long...By the time they get to a professional, they've already self-diagnosed and will struggle to do the sort of open and inclusive self-assessment that any clinician needs, in order to provide real, tangible help. Like this stuff:
I have been through a course of cbt which has thankfully enabled me to separate my present life from the past and I even now have guy friends! Although I still suffer a lot with triggers and some days I have to really work hard to ground myself in the present, overall I feel like my world has grown a bit and I've pushed my shield out a bit further. I plan to continue with cbt and have been referred to start emdr therapy to hopefully help me to be myself a bit more and to understand and accept what I have been through so it doesn't have to be at the forefront of my mind anymore.
That's a lot of hard work you did, and I can tell from how you've written it that you're proud of it, which is truly fantastic.

Thanks so much for your post.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top