Just kinda need some help or guidance on something I’m feeling. So when I was 14, my boyfriends father sexually assaulted me many times. Under wraps for awhile. I never said anything for about a year. I have quite consuming ptsd. i use self harm as in hitting and cutting and smoking as my kind of outlet. I’ve been seeking out photos of my abusor and looking at them, listening to the music he played for me over and over and going out my way to bump into him, thinking it would resolve my issues. Make me feel better about it. But it’s not, I haven’t seen him since last October properly. I did see him from very far off across a car park but I saw the back of him. That was enough to really upset me, but I put myself in the foreign range. I am still dating his son, for reference and we’ve been dating years. We have no issues and it’s working me just not seeing his parents. His parents are in a mess, don’t sleep together, don’t talk to bother. She said at one point that she wanted a divorce but has since gone back on herself and says I’m a liar, (I do have a bit of proof) but she’s coming up with loads of just rubbish excuses. But the issue is my own processing of the situation. I’m really struggling with it. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.