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Stuck in Anger about no closure and injustice

Thread starter #1
My abuser was my narcissist mother in law who emotionally/psychologically abused me while her son, my partner, was battling cancer. Double whammy. So I find myself having flashbacks and being so angry I could throw things.

Where do you find closure? She never accepted how she made me feel. I could never stand up for myself fully because she just tore me down even further, so I just took the abuse... Let her squash any boundaries I had.

I feel so angry and guilty for letting her walk all over me even though that was how I needed to act to not make her treat me worse. I sometimes wish I did and she'd have gone through with the death threats... All her lies and the people I've lost to believing her is just so aggravating and makes me so angry. I truly don't know how to get past this anger. I've tried writing a letter and ripping it up, I journal about it often but there's no relief.

Me and my partner have been no contact with her for 4 years now and I still struggle so much like it's still happening and I am even more stuck with just accepting/taking it. Sitting idly by as she rips my self to shreds with no justice in sight ever.

How does one deal!??!?
 
#2
There is karma. I believe she knows on some level what she did and you having no contact is holding her accountable. Abusers usually have poor health. My father is accountable- his daughter is a legacy and his father's legacy. My grandfather died from epilepsy. I am after much work seizure free. He knows.

Forgive yourself. Create your future.
 
#3
Since you put this is Core Beliefs / Cognitive Distortions... What do you think is in play that’s contributing to this? IE Core beliefs or cognitive distortions giving oxygen to the fire / keeping the guilt and anger present?

I truly don't know how to get past this anger.
I feel so angry and guilty for letting her walk all over me e
So I find myself having flashbacks and being so angry I could throw things.
Or if this is just a mispost in this forum, and what you really want to address is the anger / dysreg... we can move it easy peasy... just click ‘report post’ or use Contact Us :)
 
#4
Alli, I think the fact that your partner and you haven't been in contact with your abusive mother-in-law for four full years shows that you're standing up for yourself. You both are giving her the message that you aren't putting up with your mother-in-law's abusive ways anymore. I think that's good.
 
#5
Yes forgive yourself for having to act and letting her walk on you.

You can forgive her too for not accepting you and being the way she is.
However you want to do that up to you what you can do. In your mind or in person.
Since she is a narcissist, it could very well be that it isn’t a good idea to do in person.

However, if you don’t plan to be around her anymore, possibly ever, this should come easier to accept the idea of forgiving her in your own head.

Forgiving yourself and her of mind, this is very very symbolic of moving on with the whole ordeal. You can take back your power now.

Sometimes there’s some crap in the way, but the path is really there.
 
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