SeekingAfrica
Sponsor
So... The start of why I came to this site is because of SA. So dating has always been complicated for me.
Thankfully due to circumstance my last serious relationship was friends for 6 months before we got together. That made everything easier. All other attempts between the trauma and that relationship were short and chaotic and I had the habit of ending things before everything gets serious. I've been single for a while and was just feeling up for dating.
And then of course, we all know what the last 2 months have been.
Tried online dating site for a first time now, as sort of a dip-my-toe-in-water kinda thing. Overally positive, as in with very little effort and random selfie of myself I took on a good day, I got responses. Even got to a conversation, really nice one... and then it turned out that all he was looking for was one night stand. Still overly not bad conversation, but I went to the site not knowing yet what I wanted and the moment the conversation got in that direction I started panicking. It was super polite and civilized conversation, so that wasn't the reason.
But I'm off the all and feeling anxious in waves and worried about what that might mean for my dating. Or lackthereof. How am I suppose to date like this? I liked the app, liked talking to people, this whole start of liking looks and getting to know a person. But then certain things touch a nerve and I end up feeling so sooo dark and panicky and nauseous. How will I ever fine anyone else willing to deal with my stupid issues? I though that stopped being an issue since I did have the relationship that lasted, but getting into something new and real feels just as scary now. Except I want to get over it one day. And to date. And for things to be less complicated, feel less complicated. But it's not where I'm at and whatever I want or don't all I know is, it's past midnight, and I'm in bed panicking and drifting in and out of memories and I'm so exhausted of that feeling...
Thankfully due to circumstance my last serious relationship was friends for 6 months before we got together. That made everything easier. All other attempts between the trauma and that relationship were short and chaotic and I had the habit of ending things before everything gets serious. I've been single for a while and was just feeling up for dating.
And then of course, we all know what the last 2 months have been.
Tried online dating site for a first time now, as sort of a dip-my-toe-in-water kinda thing. Overally positive, as in with very little effort and random selfie of myself I took on a good day, I got responses. Even got to a conversation, really nice one... and then it turned out that all he was looking for was one night stand. Still overly not bad conversation, but I went to the site not knowing yet what I wanted and the moment the conversation got in that direction I started panicking. It was super polite and civilized conversation, so that wasn't the reason.
But I'm off the all and feeling anxious in waves and worried about what that might mean for my dating. Or lackthereof. How am I suppose to date like this? I liked the app, liked talking to people, this whole start of liking looks and getting to know a person. But then certain things touch a nerve and I end up feeling so sooo dark and panicky and nauseous. How will I ever fine anyone else willing to deal with my stupid issues? I though that stopped being an issue since I did have the relationship that lasted, but getting into something new and real feels just as scary now. Except I want to get over it one day. And to date. And for things to be less complicated, feel less complicated. But it's not where I'm at and whatever I want or don't all I know is, it's past midnight, and I'm in bed panicking and drifting in and out of memories and I'm so exhausted of that feeling...