I had surgery on my arm last Thursday in 3 places and I was anxious before surgery, this is still from the work comp injury over a year and a half ago now. I know anesthesia has messed w me a bit before but all week I’ve felt super hopeless and depressed. I’m supposed to be resting and recovering and problems just keep piling on, I lost my unemployment, my work comp case is getting delayed, I have absolutely no income and am not released medically to work especially since I just had shoulder, elbow and hand surgery. I’ve asked friends and family but they’re tapped out. I feel hopeless and then it started slow and then the suicidal thoughts just started pouring in to the point I don’t even want to go to therapy anymore bc I feel stuck in my situation. I spent a better part of last week calling agencies and the state I live in for assistance until either disability or work comp kicks in and the lady on the phone legit said “ma’am illinois is broke, we don’t have a lot of programs anymore.” I just feel trapped and like now it’s my only way out. I’m tired of all the crap and talking about it. I can’t work, I have no money and I have no help I just feel it’d be financially more responsible to die. I’d go to the hospital but that’s another bill I can’t afford and nothing will have changed when I get out/ there’s nothing I can change. I don’t know if I have to do rehab or what. I don’t know. I just feel hopeless.