Livinginhope
Confident
I would really value some input from those of you with more experience than me. Brief recap if you didn’t see my post in this thread a few months ago: I met a great guy at the end of last year who has been a paramedic for twenty years and was in the air force before that. He was diagnosed with PTSD about ten years ago and is having treatment. We really hit it off and became close quickly and then, as seems quite common, he abruptly pulled away and said he needed to clear out and deal with bits and bobs before he could truly let anyone in. He stopped taking my calls or answering my messages but he didn’t block me.
So, I read a lot on PTSD; I read some books he’d talked about; and I found this forum. I took a step back, tried to absorb what I had learnt and told him that I respected that he knew what he needed. I said I would be happy to reconnect if he wanted to, and that I’d message from time to time to say hi.
I did what I promised, sending him funny things every few weeks, never asking anything from him. After a month or so, he sometimes started to respond. It slowly increased month by month, although he still didn’t respond to everything. But I was over the moon.
Then Coronavirus arrived and obviously everyone’s world got thrown upside down. For him, as a paramedic, it must have been unbearable at times.
I kept messaging every few weeks, sending things I hoped would make him smile and telling him to look after himself. Mostly I got short responses or a few kisses back.
Then about five weeks ago, he sent me a much longer response telling me that when this is all over we’ll appreciate what we have in our lives and that my messages were keeping him going. A few days later he messaged saying again that he wanted me to know how much he appreciated my messages and asking if we could maybe meet up again after lockdown ends. Obviously I said yes!
For a few weeks he responded often, asking for a new photo of me, sending me photos of his house and a letter of thanks he’d received.
Then, suddenly again, he stopped responding. It’s been almost three weeks now. I’m still sending messages (about one a week) but getting nothing back.
So I guess I’m asking ‘What is he thinking?’ I’m going to stick around but it is hard to be caught in this push-pull. I’ve read so much about the stress cup now that I suspect it’s overflowing, and I know I shouldn’t take it personally.
Most days, I can deal with it. But some days it just really sucks!! And I know that everyone here will understand that. I just hope he’s coming back....
So, I read a lot on PTSD; I read some books he’d talked about; and I found this forum. I took a step back, tried to absorb what I had learnt and told him that I respected that he knew what he needed. I said I would be happy to reconnect if he wanted to, and that I’d message from time to time to say hi.
I did what I promised, sending him funny things every few weeks, never asking anything from him. After a month or so, he sometimes started to respond. It slowly increased month by month, although he still didn’t respond to everything. But I was over the moon.
Then Coronavirus arrived and obviously everyone’s world got thrown upside down. For him, as a paramedic, it must have been unbearable at times.
I kept messaging every few weeks, sending things I hoped would make him smile and telling him to look after himself. Mostly I got short responses or a few kisses back.
Then about five weeks ago, he sent me a much longer response telling me that when this is all over we’ll appreciate what we have in our lives and that my messages were keeping him going. A few days later he messaged saying again that he wanted me to know how much he appreciated my messages and asking if we could maybe meet up again after lockdown ends. Obviously I said yes!
For a few weeks he responded often, asking for a new photo of me, sending me photos of his house and a letter of thanks he’d received.
Then, suddenly again, he stopped responding. It’s been almost three weeks now. I’m still sending messages (about one a week) but getting nothing back.
So I guess I’m asking ‘What is he thinking?’ I’m going to stick around but it is hard to be caught in this push-pull. I’ve read so much about the stress cup now that I suspect it’s overflowing, and I know I shouldn’t take it personally.
Most days, I can deal with it. But some days it just really sucks!! And I know that everyone here will understand that. I just hope he’s coming back....