OptimisticRealist
Learning
Ok, this is only my second post, but if you read my first, you'll know I had a difficult conversation with my SO and our therapist, which resulted in her shutting down for the past week. She's still struggling to function at the bare minimum and has 3 kids, one who is a non-verbal toddler on the autism spectrum. On the best of days it can still be exhausting, because spectrum kids need more supervision and their sleep is unpredictable at best, on bad days it feels impossible. We don't live together because of a moral clause from her divorce, but I spend most of my time with her and the kids when I'm not working or sleeping, and it's been this way for over a year. Her ex was abusive and isolated her very effectively, to the point where she has literally no support system besides me and our therapist. Her only family member who tries to help is her mom, but her mom is the cause of most of her childhood trauma, either directly or indirectly, so it's not the healthiest situation.
With all that in mind, and knowing that she's definitely still upset with me on some level but can't talk about it yet because shut down, how in the world do I make sure she's ok, that the kids are getting attention, and still give her space to decompress? She's still at the beginning of therapy for CPTSD, so her tool belt is very under-stocked with ways to handle stress and function when her brain decides it needs to just shhhhhhhh for a while.
Sorry this is long and rambling, eventually I'll stop feeling the need to give so much back story before I get to my point. She's still too shut down to have a productive conversation, even about the level of help she needs right now around the house, so I'm winging it the best I can until the dust settles. Thoughts?
With all that in mind, and knowing that she's definitely still upset with me on some level but can't talk about it yet because shut down, how in the world do I make sure she's ok, that the kids are getting attention, and still give her space to decompress? She's still at the beginning of therapy for CPTSD, so her tool belt is very under-stocked with ways to handle stress and function when her brain decides it needs to just shhhhhhhh for a while.
Sorry this is long and rambling, eventually I'll stop feeling the need to give so much back story before I get to my point. She's still too shut down to have a productive conversation, even about the level of help she needs right now around the house, so I'm winging it the best I can until the dust settles. Thoughts?