419can.dance
Confident
Thoughts of the end have been flying in and out of my mind all day. The feeling absolute failure hit me late last night when I woke from a horrendous nightmare.
I picked myself up and hid in the other room to cry. Hiding the shame that I am feeling being a “survivor.”
I do not feel as though I have survived. I struggle daily. Struggles always tied back to childhood abuse. Struggles I mask to show I am stronger. Stronger than him. Stronger than I used to be.
I lie. I lie to everyone around me. I lie to myself. I am survinging. I have not survived, yet.
I picked myself up and hid in the other room to cry. Hiding the shame that I am feeling being a “survivor.”
I do not feel as though I have survived. I struggle daily. Struggles always tied back to childhood abuse. Struggles I mask to show I am stronger. Stronger than him. Stronger than I used to be.
I lie. I lie to everyone around me. I lie to myself. I am survinging. I have not survived, yet.