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T has cancer

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Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
I just can't. It's all too much. I give the f*%# up. And this is a stupid, selfish post because I'm never around here anymore. And it's all me me me. And this is stupid post because if I am giving up, why am I even bothering to post
 
If there's anything that's got to be dysregulating, this is it. So try not to get mad at yourself if you can, because I'd be upset too. I'd say almost all of us would be upset if it happened to any of us.

Especially since you've been going through so much lately.
:hug:
 
You're bothering to post bc you're not giving up... and it's NOT stupid.

It's smart and good you share.

Reminders: Self care & compassion, to all of you.
Two, everything your T taught you will always be with you. Even if it's not treatable (don't know bout *that* from your post.)
 
My T had cancer about 18 months ago. He kicked cancer's ass, but it took a lot out of him. He came back into practice, but it still took him a while to "really" come back. I know how hard it is to go through that with your T. I hope you two can come to a peaceful place together. This is a tough one, and I'd be devastated if my T hadn't been able to return to practice. Just being without contact those 6 months were horrible for me, and I know he was going through his own hell too!
 
I just can't. It's all too much. I give the f*%# up. And this is a stupid, selfish post because I'm never around here anymore. And it's all me me me. And this is stupid post because if I am giving up, why am I even bothering to post

1. Stupid - nope its utilising all resources at your disposal, so it’s sensible.

2. Selfish - therapy is a place we can be self focused. It’s something i am encouraged to do and I assume happens for others? To try and get sense of self and inevitably impact on the safe space to do that will impact YOU. You can have that concern and even priority to take care if yourself while feeling sad, and wanting the best for, your therapist. Isn’t that - ‘ok - now how am I feeling and how to I think about what best for me in this difficult situation’ part of what we are doing? - Not selfish, proof infact your therapy is working and you are empathetic but also thinking about self care

3. Never around here anymore - Yay! Either you graduated or you found it was not a useful tool for you regularly.

4. Me me me ... see point two!

5. Why bother to post / giving up. Because you are exploring different strategies during period of transition to provide self care. Having emotions about it is totally ok. You are not a robot. Worrying about your treatment going forward instead of losing yourself in emotional sympathy only for your therapist is ..... a necessary thing. ?
 
haven't managed to read posts or replies here. Probably won't have time to read replies until....monday? blah . We moving so been crazy busy. And... can't deal

our last T had cancer. He went from being a ok/mediocre T to being one that was causing harm maybe.
Can't deal
don't care don't care don't care
 
Thanks for all the replies. I appreciate it. T says it's highly treatable. Glad for her. Thinking it's time to quit therapy. Thinking that's the best all around. Understand what @Mee is saying but if we keep going we won't be able to be reasonable about T's cancer. And T is human. We can be selfish around her in other ways and view that as therapeutic (try at least) but we can't do that regarding her cancer. That's just too messed up. Besides. Lately we not been making her happy anyway.
 
Can you ask her to help you hook up with someone new?

I gathered she is proficient in some hard to come by areas, like trauma and DID and traumatic bonds.

So she would also likely have other contacts to who works these areas, that is trustworthy. To pass you into good hands. Also to help *her* peace of mind.

And I would talk with her about that worry for her / felt need to quit, before you actually quit. Because that to me reads as an abused person beating themselves up for something they are not to blame for, and trying to control the future situations that haven't even happened yet / so much mindreading & catastrophizing bringing you a lot unnecessary grief.
 
Today would normally be a therapy day but instead T is having surgery

And I would talk with her about that worry for her / felt need to quit, before you actually quit.

I know you are right on this. It's the advice that I would give anyone else. I just... I don't want to go through this again. And, I know this T is different than my old T and her cancer is different. But I just keep thinking it will be the same

And I'm back into self-destructive stuff because I am stupid
 
But I just keep thinking it will be the same

And I'm back into self-destructive stuff because I am stupid

Because you're stressed out, you mean, not stupid. ;) Different S word.

You said you think it will be the same... *what* will be the same? I mean as in what is ouchy the most, maybe can manage that bad landing with that knowledge, better.
 
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