T Told Me To Disclose Ptsd To Someone At Work

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Powder

MyPTSD Pro
Not the boss or employer, per se, but a confidant or coworker. I felt like she meant to just connect with a trusted coworker. She said it's important for several reasons (to have a supporter at work) to reduce stress.

My current workplace has triggered me in some unexpected ways, as a teacher in a public, overcrowded suburban high school.

There are frequent drills (required) that are so loud that the only thing I could compare it to is a sensory torture chamber. Even the passing electric bell is so loud that it causes people to jump into the air and scream. This goes off every 55 minutes all day. Flashing strobe lights on the sheriff's squad car on the way in and on the front and back of every bus, of which about 20 go in and out several times a day. I have to follow a row in the dark. It gives me a migraine on the way into to work.

The active shooter drills are the hardest for me because once there was a real potential threat, and I heard banging/popping and men yelling. Turns out it was workers being loud? I never found out. I called 911. I was all alone and not allowed to leave my portable for hours. It was hard on the whole school. Kids needed to use the bathroom, so did teachers.

I wished I had a nearby coworker who either also had PTSD or could be a support for me in a crisis. Like during that long potential threat/drill, I was emailing a nearby teacher, and I wanted to go over and hang with her. I went over and knocked but she followed procedure and didn't check or let me in.

I called my spouse who was at home at the time and texted him. I had a panic attack when I heard what sounded like a shooting outside because I was not only afraid for my and the others' safety, but my daughter was on campus and not responding to my texts because they weren't supposed to. I was not prepared for the amount of fear or triggering.

I was ill the whole weekend following.

I would like to find a support person nearby to confide in and support me, but I don't know if my expectations are reasonable and understandable.

I'm not sure what my T meant (I don't live near her anymore) and I can see the benefit but don't get the logistics.

You can see I'm way overthinking this and trying to gulp down a complex social work relationship, like trying to eat a three course meal in one gulp. These things take time and social skills I suck at. In fact, it's all or nothing with me. It's unlikely that someone with my lack of bonding skills and attachment disorder type of CPTSD can think her way through this to a satisfactory ending for all involved. It's touch and go, and I would have to get to know them first, which I don't feel able to do given the massive isolation imposed. In fact, I feel triggered by people I work with all the time and have to work through that just to go to work. If I were able to get closer to someone or more than one, I would likely not be. So it's a double edged thing.

Thing is, our admin is "divide and conquer." If you look at the portable teachers' schedules, you will immediately note that they deliberately schedule our prep and lunch periods opposite to prevent us from having a chance to talk to each other.
 
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louise burke

New Here
i'm sorry you are scheduled from breaks opposite co-workers. that can be a massive think in helping you to cope. Any chance that could change? two of my colleagues, I feel so happy to see them at lunch twice a week, we will go for costa coffee or kfc (I work right next to a drivethru) and we help each other put everything in perspective
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
Connection is super important. No question about it. What I have learned is that having no connection is better than a bad connection though. So it surprises me that she is going for 'connection' without knowing if there is someone at the school who has proven themselves trustable and worthy of having a connection with you.

Is there someone in the school that you feel may be able to fill this role in a responsible and meaningful way for you Muse?

I can't even imagine bells rings, strobe lights, OMG! They would have had to have placed me into a padded room if I had had to deal with that as you have. Seriously, really great for sticking at it.
 
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leelee

Learning
Just be careful in who you trust in.From experience people look and act a little different toward you after they know. The time I did I felt like the person/people who knew thought of me as the "crazy lady", which was not a good feeling. I have even had the same reaction for my primary doctor/staff. The whole world is "crazy" theres just different levels of "crazy".
 

Freedomfighter

MyPTSD Pro
Caution is adviced, as soon as others at my workplace knew that I had PTSD the predators just swooned in on me. Attempted to tell me that I was wrong, that whatever caused my disease has absolutely nothing to do with the person that stalked me and so on......

When others found out about my condition they turned into hyenas, still do not know why.

Their deplorable actions are copied by others that I work with to this day.

There is one good thing I found out about PTSD, when everyone acted like I was the one with the problem I did my own research and found that all of the people that banded together against me were the most messed up people you could imagine.

Find a good therapist, one you can really trust, and disclose to him or her what you are dealing with. Coworkers have attempted to get me fired after they found out I have PTSD, and this is only one of the terrible things they did.

I am so happy that I found a true and sincere person that has dedicated himself to helping me and even though I get very mad at him sometimes I consider him a friend.
 
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