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Talking About Trauma = Psychological/Emotional Pain

Discussion in 'General' started by Awakening, Aug 21, 2007.

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  1. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Since my first post here, I felt so encouraged to talk about my trauma.

    I'm pleased to say I've started doing this. It's been incredibly hard, but I do believe (after the encouragement here & the reading I've been doing) that it's the right thing to do.

    My question is; how do I relieve some of this pain? I had a therapy session yesterday that we both acknowledged was tough.

    Right now I feel hurt inside. Apart from alcohol how can I help alleviate some of it. It sounds pathetic, but it really hurts. My T is available for another session if I need it but I'd like to try & do this on my own.

    I feel so isolated and alone and well frightened and child-like. That's when I have very negative thoughts, and I'm trying to prevent this spiral down.

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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    There are many ways to try to take the edge off. for me teas, learning to meditate, yoga, guided imagery, hot baths with scents and salts, CBT... Would help if you were more specific of symptoms.

    But for you to really get relief it will take time and working through the trauma. It will hurt no doubt but it is worth it after you are done. You know you are doing real therapy when it hurts like hell.
    nie likes this.
  4. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Well tick the 'hurt likes hell' box.


    - mainly depression, overwhelming sense of sadness, unable or unwilling to cry
    - feel pain inside, like it hurts my heart (sounds a bit dramatic but not sure how else to describe)
    - feel like someone is hurting me
    - feel like someone is going to get me
    - tight chest
    - aching all over
    - sore throat
    - upset stomach
    - can't eat
    - feel surreal, disconnected from the world, people
    - desire for rescue (?) or help but there's no way I can reach anyone
    - loneliness, isolation, detachment, not in the same world as everyone else.
    - helpless, wanting the pain & the above to stop, but completely unable to do anything even logging on here is a chore, getting out of bed a pain, feel unable to move or connect to my physical body. Powerless.

    Might go try the cup of tea, and I have a magazine - that's another one - difficulty concentrating. Usually I read a book, that will be too much, but I will try a magazine.

    Thanks Veiled.
    nie likes this.
  5. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member Donated


    I feel everything you are feeling too. If you figure out how to make it stop, please share. I just try to keep very busy, which is sometimes good and sometimes not. I am sorry you are suffering.

  6. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

    Well done for talking to your therapist Awakening... :claps:We know this stuff is harder than most could know. I'm sorry you are feeling the pain from it though.

    I get the overwhelming sadness, unability/unwillingness to cry. I have been told by not crying, it brings on the tension which hurts your heart, chest, throat, body, stomach... I often feel like I'm literally being strangled. The powerlessness and helplessness is awful.

    Relaxation is always a good thing. It is also important to remember that processing happens after therapy sessions, as well as during, and that what you are going through is natural and to be expected... but it will pass. If it starts to feel too much, hang on to that. Everything is transient when it comes to emotion, we rarely feel the same emotion, all day long, every day.

    I am a hypocrite for passing on advice that I rarely take myself, but what about if you just let it out? Have a cry?? A lot of what you describe sounds like intense emotion that is being let out the only way your mind and body can, through physical symptoms, as well as depression...

    But you have to find your own ways of processing things and dealing with the aftermath, so it is about you doing what you think is best for you.

    I hope things ease up a bit soon for you.

    nie likes this.
  7. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Sadly this is very normal. This one will take time in healing and learning your true self worth. You will learn you are a survivor and you are worth being better. Life does hold light for you.

    Like your heart just gained 5 lbs and sank? It just won't feel right? That is like the depression above and takes the same. No patches for this but there are ways of thinking like making lists of thoughts to everyday things ie I should or I used to be able and change them. Remove all shoulds. Should is a bad word now.

    I am curious how? Is it the thought process or flashbacks? Just want more clarification.

    CBT techniques will help here. It may feel very real as it may have been part of your life at one time, but it is not now. What is the real possibility now? Think about it. This works with repetition for months. And don't watch the damn news! Relaxation methods in time can help ease this. When I am scared I can close my eyes and do a slow breath and let my body "melt". This takes a long time to do. Not a couple months.

    Anxiety. It sucks but it is a mild symptom. Remind yourself that this is just that, nothing more. Tea and guided imagery helped me to learn to "relax" out of it.

    I am unsure beyond a bath of scents and tea to help as it will take the edge off. I know all the paths to this but I am still working on it. I still have this as a major issue that and I think will ease with more time like the rest.

    Not sure about this one. Tea will help with honey though! Could you be wearing out so hard you do the snoring thing? I would talk to the doc about that one if it is chronic.

    This one may take time too. Spearmint tea and ginger root capsules can help worlds though.

    PTSD certainly does that as can anxiety attacks. This one I never could get a grip on. I had to heal in all the other ways before this started to work out. Still happens but not so often now. Wish I could offer an idea.

    You hope that there is some form of quick fix. We all do/did. There isn't but you find such a new empowerment it is unreal. I am nowhere who or what I was before this kicked in hard, but I love this new me and I worked so hard to get here, harder than the rest of the things in my life that I thought was me and thought I worked so hard to do.

    I see I am far from alone. They may not be my neighbor but so many are just like me. I am many things, but alone and isolated I am not anymore. You will see that.

    You went back to your original thought, depression. What you feel is normal and it is OK. It will be normal for you a while, just keep letting yourself know you will eventually swing up and quite happily the more you do therapy and open up. It will be a rough ride but we all go though it. It will be for the better if you just push through. Don't give up or settle for less symptoms. It is a long hard road but it can be traveled.
  8. EmeraldRiver

    EmeraldRiver Member

    Well, I don't know how to help with most of the symptoms. Most of mine went away on their own once I went OFF the drugs prescribed to me, and then I gradually took charge of most of my life one tiny baby step at a time. Mostly, by using lists of what I wanted to accomplish and how I was going to do it.

    I read a lot of self help books, and I did have some counselling, but it went terribly...not like yours did, I just HATED the counsellor, and hate was a mild word for what I wanted to do to her, so I quit.

    But, what DID work really really well for me when I felt like you did was to go to the humane society. I didn't have a pet at that time, so I'd go and take a dog on a leash and walk and walk on the trails they have. Or, I'd take a cat into the cat-room and hold it and tell it whatever I wanted to say, but there was no one to say it to.

    When that didn't ease some of the pain I'd hum, or put on sad music. THEN I'd cry (and although I have never ever felt better after crying emotionally, physically sometimes I did.)

    If you're musically inclined this may be an outlet for you. Just don't let it backfire - I played piano for over 18 years of my life - and tried to play right after my trauma happened. I have not attempted to play since that night, nor do I ever expect to again. But if your trauma is not recent, then I should think it would be ok. Oh, and getting angry helped, because it's easier for me to be angry than it is for me to be sad. Good luck. I'm sure you will find something that will help you learn to deal with your emotions. :)
  9. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Responses are making me feel less alone.

    I'm not in the best head space right now, so I can't absorb everything in the posts, but I will come back to this. I tend to go over & over different posts, and get something different each time.

    Since this post I have been crying. What set me off was ridiculously mild - someone was very short with me - and this has caused a mass of tears that I've been struggling to control. I keep having to go to the toilet to cry.

    I worry that my energy reserves are so depleted, that I don't have the strength to keep fighting this thing. I've been in therapy for 15 months, I try so hard, and the more I progress the more I hurt. I will keep fighting, but I wonder how much more, how much longer, when will it get better, when will the pain end?
  10. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

    It does take time Awakening! it is hard but we all support each othere here. I have found great info and useful skills. Take Care......I have been in therapy for 3 years now, i think. You can do this.it will get better, just keep telling yourself that.
  11. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    thanks everyone.

    feel like crap. however husband & psychologist are being incredibly supportive. that helps.

    thinking might need to go on meds. used to be on lexapro. didn't really do that much for me, but apparently there's other stuff.
  12. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Do you take anything for acid reflux? I see you mentioned 'upset stomach'. Seems we get to deal with more than our share of physical issues and too much stomach acid can cause your stomach to be upset and your throat to be sore. If it continues (and the dr. says it's not viral or bacterial), I'd try to OTC acid medicine. I take the 'one pill daily' stuff and it has helped a lot.

    Keeping yourself really hydrated will help too. Drinking lots of water will help with the muscle aches, too. A lot of muslce pain is caused by our bodies being dehydrated.

    As you work through your traumas your concentration will improve. At one time I couldn't concentrate enough to finish an article in a magazine. My mind kept jumping around too much. Now I'm able to sit down and read a book for as long as I choose.

    Keep pushing, keep working. I was where you are. I didn't think it would ever get better. I'm living proof that it does get better with lots of hard work, not giving up and learning to lean on others for support. Glad to hear that your hubby and doctor are such support for you.

  13. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    I do get acid reflux & I do have tablets so I can take those.

    I also find that over the counter painkillers with codeine in them help my jumpy feelings.

    I think Veiled asked about 'someone hurting me' feeling - this I now think is some sort of flashback. It's a violated, helpless feeling.

    I'm doing shithouse. Not at work. Ringing & seeing my psychologist frequently. Twice a week appointments. My psychologist seems to think this is all good progress and exactly what trauma work should be. I know from reading on here there's a similiar philosophy. But seriously to be completely honest I"m starting to think everyone else is the crazy one. I feel way worse then I've ever felt. YES, says my shrink, you WILL, for the first time you are not repressing, you are not self medicating (well actually did once this week) and you are exploring your feelings around the trauma. THIS IS how it should be.

    Stay with it, and don't give up now, that's what she says. I'm just hoping & praying that this is correct, because it feels like I'm dying. Dramatic, yes, but then so is the f'ing feeling.

    Physically I'm actually sick & in pain, as well as the mental. This is astounding to me. I feel like a freak or a BIG DQ (Drama Queen). But seriously as mental f'cked up as I am it's actually affecting my body. It's bullshit it really is. It still baffles me that something in the PAST (are you listening body) can make me feel physically like it's happening right now. As unreasonbable & irrational as that is.

    I"m so pissed off. I feel like no-one believes me just how much it hurts. That everyone thinks I'm a whinger. All I need to do is ground myself, think of a waterfall in a pretty forest, kiss a bunny rabbit & soak in 'healing lavender' bath salts. I want to punch & kick & fight and get this person off me, out of my head.

    To think all you lot are going through this or have gone through this. God, no one should have to go through this. IT SUCKS.
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