Teasel's Diary

[Maximus]

Teasel: Will you think of me. My husband was in the ER for a sore throat. He has myasthenia Gravis. All the muscles in his body break down. The infection made it impossible to swallow, even water, and he could not talk. His lungs failed and he is on life support at U of A. I am doing well but we both broke down and cried with each other. They woke him up for half the day So he could write me a little. I am grateful for all I have been through, like you, 40 years ago. And grateful for the restoration of having a healthy enduring relationship where we think more of each other than of ourselves. That is 34 years ago. But it took going through a violent short marriage and realizing I do not know how to choose a healthy man. It took a lot of hard work. I relate to your emotions. But I finally met a man where the lights did not go off across a crowded room. But I used my head and saw what a kind honorable person is. A person who is still the nicest person I ever met. The romance certainly came but it was not the criteria for healthy relationship. Though our orientation may be different ,regardless, learning skills at discerning people and choosing healthy people takes work. But all the tools are available to anyone. Please think of me and the strength I need to face one day at a time. You please do the same. Life is the journey. Don’t look too quickly for the end.

It will be a roller coaster ride for awhile. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are doing what is normal in your situation…floundering back and forth. Do you have the what ifs? I did and it was terrible. There is grieving we go through. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Teasel]

Thanks @Movingforward10

Sorry about your husband Maximus.

 

[Teasel]

I went out dancing. Danced hard for hours. Was fantastic.

 

[Maximus]

Like @Freddyt I would probably start with the kind one. I doubt she’ll be in a position to say ‘ok, you can have me!’ (Unfortunately!) But she may be able to help you navigate the system there - and hopefully get some kind of change for you (ideally a different support worker)

I don’t know where you are or exactly what kind of service this is and how it works (and I’m obviously not asking you to disclose any of those things!) But it seems like a reasonable request to me to ask for a change. If a client accessing the service is struggling with it, not getting on/feeling safe with the support worker they’ve been assigned and the visits and contacts are actually making them feel worse, it seems like a no brainer to me that they would change things up and, if they have requested a different support worker, that you would look to see what might be possible.

I’m sure all these services are very stretched, and likely under-staffed. But it makes no sense to me that you have expressed to them the difficulties you are having with the service/your support worker, but they still keep sending her round, knowing she impacts you so negatively. I know me saying I’m baffled by these things doesn’t really help you or your situation - I just want to reiterate that it’s a reasonable request to ask for something to change if it’s not working for you (and especially if it’s actually harmful to your well-being)

Thanks @Movingforward10

Sorry about your husband Maximus.

Thank you Tea

I went out dancing. Danced hard for hours. Was fantastic.

ah hah! Exercise! Helpful. Husband is off life support but long way to go.

 

[Teasel]

Not feeling able to post here. Need to break the increasing isolation though so...

 

[barefoot]

I’m just popping in to say hello.

Well done for getting some words out when that wasn’t easy.

 

[Teasel]

Thank you @barefoot 🙂

Feel like I might manage to do a morsel of something today. We'll see.

 

[barefoot]

Thank you @barefoot 🙂

Feel like I might manage to do a morsel of something today. We'll see.

I'm trying to get myself into action today too...not sure if I'm going to achieve much at this point, so I may well choose to consciously rest and watch some afternoon property shows on TV. A Place in the Sun is a guilty pleasure for me!

 

[Teasel]

Hope you get a good rest or else feel bettter @barefoot

I've updated my calming music playlist. Is actually lovely to flood my mind with some beautiful music.

 

[barefoot]

Hope you get a good rest or else feel bettter @barefoot

I've updated my calming music playlist. Is actually lovely to flood my mind with some beautiful music.

That sounds lovely. What kind of music do you have on that playlist.

Ah, I’m ok, thanks. Not feeling bad. Just having a lazy/unproductive day.

 

[Teasel]

Ah right, good good

Mix of laid back / wistful / quirky / folk / pop / classical / ballards / world music / hip hop / reggae, some acoustic guitars n piano n beautiful voices

This one I first heard on classic fm and noticed a profound relaxation and actually managed to remember it's title so I could find it.

Down by the Salley Gardens
Barrie Douglas

 

[Aprilshowers]

Love Celtic music!